Masti Ki Paathshala

The History of the Internet

2011-08-02T16:51:00.000+05:30

The Pictorial History of the Internet.

Interconnected Tech Companies

2011-07-31T08:16:00.000+05:30

A very nice look at the world of tech companies - They are all the same :)

Click on the image to see the complete version.

Urzu Durkut

2011-03-21T02:45:00.000+05:30

Lovely Song......

Lyrics
Chann Se Bole Chamake Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La La La Laa
Urzu Urzdurkut
Tank Tank Tank Tank Tana Tana
Chann Se Bole Chamake Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La

Naa Naa Naa Na Naaa

Hare Kwaab Ki Yeh Hari Choodiyan
Kalayi Mein Kisne Bhari Choodiyan
Hare Kwaab Ki Yeh Hari Choodiyan
Kalayi Mein Kisne Bhari Choodiyan
Uti Neend Se Chali Aayi Mein
Saath Hi Aagayi Meri Choodiyan
Saath Hi Aagayi Meri Choodiyan

Ankh Bole Kwab Kwab Deelthe Raho
Roz Koyi Ek Chand Bhelte Raho
Chaand Toote Toh Tukde Tukde Baatlena
Bol Pahiyaan Hai Raat Din Takelte Raho
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
Lala La

Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
Chann Se Bole Chamke Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Hmm Hmm

Three Things One Must Know

2011-03-02T00:51:00.000+05:30

There are three things that if a man does not know, he cannot live long in this world:
What is too much for him,
What is too little for him, and
What is just right for him.
-- Swahili Proverb

2011-01-20T23:54:00.000+05:30

From a student - Aditya Goel - The juvenility in a child's thoughts, the full play in his actions, the range of his imagination, compel me to wish if each person could be as innocent, and not let facts get in his way. As puerile as it could get, your imagination will keep you calm in tribulations; and who knows, one of those unconventional dreams might come true.

ख्वाबों के किस्से,

अगर सुबह से होते,

अपने मन की करते,

और मीठे सपने पिरोते.

अपने नामों को लिखना,

गीली मिटटी में होता,

हर रोज़ का गुस्सा,

बस किताबों से होता.

डर वोह मन का,

सिर्फ माँ से ही होता,

हर झूठ, हर रोना,

एक खिलोने में खोता.

रियासत के किस्से,

झूठी कहानियों में होते,

और उनके हिस्से,

हम सोते ही होते.

कभी परेशानियों में,

वोह मुस्कुराना सच्चा होता,

क्या दुनिया वोह होती,

जहां हर कोई बच्चा होता.

- आदित्य गोयल

Soar Beyond your Fears!

2011-01-19T11:26:00.000+05:30

Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained.

Months passed and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace

window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer."

In the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of this miracle."

The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?"

With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird was sitting."

We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

So let us learn to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight.

Tees Maar Khan

2011-01-05T15:16:00.000+05:30

So...I finally watched Tees Maar Khan. Despite strong protestations from so many, I had decided to watch it and watch I did.

Here's my take on the same.....

It was a different movie. If you have seen Hollywood spoof movies then you would understand this movie. I have seen at least three. I do not remember the names of even one but there are three I have seen. One is the spoof Hollywood action movies with exaggerations of the silly scenes of these movies. Then there was one which was about Superheroes and all the silly things of such movies, like wearing your underwear over your pants etc. being highly exaggerated. And then there was this movie with Angelina Jolie which was a spoof of Troy and some other American/Hollywood stuff.

What Farah Khan was trying was to make a spoof of Bollywood and its associated idiosyncracies. The Punjabi secretary (better pronounced as sectry), the Oscar crazy actor, the insider jokes over Danny Doyle and Manoj Day Shayamalan are clear cases to prove this.

However, where she fell short is that her self-referential locus could not maintain the centrality of the ideas as a result of the confusion of goals and hence the resultant amalgamation of ideas instead of the expected dichotomy of the two genres! In simple words, she forgot that she is making a spoof. End result, it is neither a movie nor a spoof. It is both and hence neither!

It could have been way better had only one aim been maintained. She is two boats and hence in the water.

Sachin Tendulkar

2010-12-21T14:10:00.000+05:30

It has happened - Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar has hit his 50th test century. And it once again set my memory rolling back to the past. I have always wanted to write this post every time he has hit a new record but I think everything has its time.

I was mad about cricket since 1986. The passion started in class VI when India brownwashed England in England 2-0. It intensified in 1987 when Gavaskar reached 10,000 runs in test cricket, the first batsman to do so. And then, World Cup happened in India. Although India lost in the semis (damn you Gooch, you with your sweep stroke!) the fever was all set. The greats of those days were Gavaskar, Imran Khan, Kapil Dev, Abdul Qadir, Vengsarkar, Krishnamachari Srikanth, Vivian Richards, Curtly Ambrose, Malcom Marshall, Gordon Greenidge etc. I was greatly influenced by Qadir, whose mesmerising action I completely imbibed. I was always running with his diagnol action, even when I walked on the road!

And then I heard about Sachin Tendulkar. It was 1988 and this boy shattered a few records with a record partnership of 664 in a school tournament in Bombay along with his classmate, Vinod Kambli. Kambli made 349 and Tendulkar 324. The newspaper article made a lot of their young age (they were 15 and I was 13). That impressed me :) The wonder boy made it to the Ranji team of Bombay very soon and hit 100 on debut against Gujrat. That was cool.....and then soon we heard that he was going to Pakistan in 1989.

He hit Qadir for four consecutive sixes in a practice game and that had me hooked. To me, no one was over Qadir and here was this tich of a boy, hitting him all over the ground. My Qadir fascination ended soon after :-)

He was playing for India when I was in school. He was there when I was in college and then when I was doing my MBA, he was murdering Warne & co. I had been placed and there was a lot of time in the final trimester of MBA when Australia toured India. Warne was massacred....and we were thrilled. Watching cricket in a hostel has its own charm....with the running commentary of 50 other people adding to the whole atmosphere.

I still rue the 136 in Chennai where India lost by 12 runs to Pakistan. I think it makes us realise that he too is human, not God. And that adds to his charm. Had he won every match for India, it would be less fascinating. It is the recognition of the fact that he too is like us, fallible and prone to mistakes, that makes him all the more appealing.

His 98 against Pakistan in 2003 WC was another innings that stands out in my memory. The aerial shot against Shoaib Akhtar was the pinnacle of that innings.

He is still out there....it is amazing that almost all my cricket memories are with Sachin. To me, he is Indian cricket. His humility, and his perseverance are commendable. He still practices and is the hardest working cricketer. That is what sets him apart from the others. It is not just a God-gifted ability or a natural talent but the honing and polishing of himself that makes him what he is.

Salutations, O great One! Play as long as you enjoy. We enjoy your craft!

Entitlement Mentality

2010-11-22T13:08:00.000+05:30

One young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview and was to make the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?" The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings." The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

PJ Shayari

2010-08-29T08:39:00.000+05:30

वो सड़क के इस तरफ थे,

हम सड़क के उस तरफ थे,

(वाह वाह)

वो सड़क के इस तरफ थे,

हम सड़क के उस तरफ थे,

(वाह वाह)

कुछ हम बढ़े, कुछ वो बढ़े,

कुछ हम और बढ़े, कुछ वो और बढ़े,

हम कुछ और बढ़े, वो कुछ और बढ़े,

(अबे आगे तो बोल)

अब हम सड़क के इस तरफ हैं,

वो सड़क के उस तरफ हैं!

Raavan

2010-07-02T03:28:00.000+05:30

Saw Raavan.....essentially Ramayan+Stockholm Syndrome+Modern politics. Very good movie. As I read somewhere....poetry in motion. The visual impact is best enjoyed in a cinema hall.

Mani Ratnam has the guts to present such a fantastic interpretation of the timeless epic.

Great work !

ABC of Bengalis

2010-06-27T15:58:00.000+05:30

A is for Awpheesh. This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'Vest Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etcetera.

H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No self-respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.

K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi, the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'jawggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.

Bhains Chalisa

2010-06-27T12:31:00.002+05:30

महामूर्ख दरबार में, लगा अनोखा केस
फसा हुआ है मामला, अक्ल बङी या भैंस
अक्ल बङी या भैंस, दलीलें बहुत सी आयीं
महामूर्ख दरबार की अब,देखो सुनवाई
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस सदा ही अकल पे भारी
भैंस मेरी जब चर आये चारा- पाँच सेर हम दूध निकारा
कोई अकल ना यह कर पावे- चारा खा कर दूध बनावे
अक्ल घास जब चरने जाये- हार जाय नर अति दुख पाये
भैंस का चारा लालू खायो- निज घरवारि सी.एम. बनवायो
तुमहू भैंस का चारा खाओ- बीवी को सी.एम. बनवाओ
मोटी अकल मन्दमति होई- मोटी भैंस दूध अति होई
अकल इश्क़ कर कर के रोये- भैंस का कोई बाँयफ्रेन्ड ना होये
अकल तो ले मोबाइल घूमे- एस.एम.एस. पा पा के झूमे
भैंस मेरी डायरेक्ट पुकारे- कबहूँ मिस्ड काल ना मारे
भैंस कभी सिगरेट ना पीती- भैंस बिना दारू के जीती
भैंस कभी ना पान चबाये - ना ही इसको ड्रग्स सुहाये
शक्तिशालिनी शाकाहारी- भैंस हमारी कितनी प्यारी
अकलमन्द को कोई ना जाने- भैंस को सारा जग पहचाने
जाकी अकल मे गोबर होये- सो इन्सान पटक सर रोये
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस का गोबर अकल पे भारी
भैंस मरे तो बनते जूते- अकल मरे तो पङते जूते
अकल को कोई देख ना पावे- भैंस दरस साक्षात दिखावे
अकल पढाई करन से आवे- भैंस कभी स्कूल ना जावे
भैंस के डाक्टर मौज उङावैं- अकल के डाक्टर काम ना पावैं
अकलमन्द जग से डरै,भैंस मस्त पगुराय
भैंस चलाये सींग तो, अकलमन्द भग जाय
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस कभी ना बकती गारी
भैंस कभी अतंक ना करती- भैंस मेरी भगवान से डरती
तासौं भैंस सदा मुसकावै- अकल लङे ओर अति दुख पावै
अकल तो एटम बम्ब बनाये- झटके मे संसार उङाये
भैंस दूध दे हमको पाले- बिना दूध हों चाय के लाले
अकल विभाजन देश का कीन्ही- पाक बांग्लादेश ये दीन्ही
भैंस अभी तक फर्क ना जाने- एक रूप में सबको माने
हिन्दू मुस्लिम सिक्ख ईसाई- भैंस सभी को दूध पिलायी
भैंस न कोइ इलैक्शन चाहे- भैंस ना कोइ सेलेक्शन चाहे
इसकी नज़र मे एक हैं सारे- मोटे पतले गोरे कारे
भेदभाव नहिं भैंस को भाया- भैंस मे ही जनतन्त्र समाया
भैंस ना कोई करै हवाला- भैंस करै ना कोइ घोटाला
पासपोर्ट ना वीजा पाती- जब चाहे विदेश हो आती
फिर भी स्मगलिंग ना करती- भैंस मेरी कानून से डरती
ता सौं भैंस हमें है प्यारी- मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी
अकल बेअकल जो मरै, अन्त सवारी भैंस
भैंस बङी है अकल से, फईनल हो गया केस !!

Quotes on paradoxes

2010-06-05T01:16:00.002+05:30

Excellent quotes on paradoxes :)

On Books

2010-06-02T13:35:00.001+05:30

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

-Flannery O'Connor

The covers of this book are too far apart. -Ambrose Bierce quotes

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. -Groucho Marx

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. -Hadas

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me. -Anatole France

Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away. -Clarence Darrow

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book. -Kin Hubbard

Never judge a book by its movie. -J.W. Eagan

This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop. -Alfred Hitchcock

There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. -Bertrand Russell

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress about. -Britney Spears

Americans like fat books and thin women. -Russell Baker

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

-Raymond Chandler

It had been startling and disappointing to me to find out that story books had been written by people, that books were not natural wonders, coming of themselves like grass. -Eudora Welty

For though he'd very little Latin beyond 'Cave canem,' he had, as a young dog, devoured Shakespeare (in a tasty leather binding). -Dodie Smith

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. -Dorothy Parker

One always tends to overpraise a long book because one has got through it.

-E. M. Forster

I hate books; they only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about.

-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

My sole literary ambition is to write one good novel, then retire to my hut in the desert, assume the lotus position, compose my mind and senses, and sink into meditation, contemplating my novel. -Edward Abbey

Communication Gap

2010-05-26T13:50:00.003+05:30

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce,and he asked her, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"Why, it is made of concrete, of course," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, frustrated and at the end of his rope, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. It's my husband who does. He says he can't communicate with me."

Inspiring - Volvo

2010-05-26T13:47:00.002+05:30

An interesting reflection someone sent me -

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x number of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in other words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.

2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.

3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.

4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time.

As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

2010-05-26T12:52:00.000+05:30

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....

including the curtain rods.

Aaram Karo

2010-05-06T09:26:00.003+05:30

This is a famous poem, that I read as a child...saw its link on Facebook today and was instantly transported to my childhood. Enjoy!

आराम करो

एक मित्र मिले, बोले, "लाला, तुम किस चक्की का खाते हो?
इस डेढ़ छँटाक के राशन में भी तोंद बढ़ाए जाते हो।
क्या रक्खा है माँस बढ़ाने में, मनहूस, अक्ल से काम करो।
संक्रान्ति-काल की बेला है, मर मिटो, जगत में नाम करो।"
हम बोले, "रहने दो लेक्चर, पुरुषों को मत बदनाम करो।
इस दौड़-धूप में क्या रक्खा, आराम करो, आराम करो।

आराम ज़िन्दगी की कुंजी, इससे न तपेदिक होती है।
आराम सुधा की एक बूंद, तन का दुबलापन खोती है।
आराम शब्द में 'राम' छिपा जो भव-बंधन को खोता है।
आराम शब्द का ज्ञाता तो विरला ही योगी होता है।
इसलिए तुम्हें समझाता हूँ, मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
ये जीवन, यौवन क्षणभंगुर, आराम करो, आराम करो।

यदि करना ही कुछ पड़ जाए तो अधिक न तुम उत्पात करो।
अपने घर में बैठे-बैठे बस लंबी-लंबी बात करो।
करने-धरने में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा बात बनाने में।
जो ओठ हिलाने में रस है, वह कभी न हाथ हिलाने में।
तुम मुझसे पूछो बतलाऊँ -- है मज़ा मूर्ख कहलाने में।
जीवन-जागृति में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा है सो जाने में।

मैं यही सोचकर पास अक्ल के, कम ही जाया करता हूँ।
जो बुद्धिमान जन होते हैं, उनसे कतराया करता हूँ।
दीए जलने के पहले ही घर में आ जाया करता हूँ।
जो मिलता है, खा लेता हूँ, चुपके सो जाया करता हूँ।
मेरी गीता में लिखा हुआ -- सच्चे योगी जो होते हैं,
वे कम-से-कम बारह घंटे तो बेफ़िक्री से सोते हैं।

अदवायन खिंची खाट में जो पड़ते ही आनंद आता है।
वह सात स्वर्ग, अपवर्ग, मोक्ष से भी ऊँचा उठ जाता है।
जब 'सुख की नींद' कढ़ा तकिया, इस सर के नीचे आता है,
तो सच कहता हूँ इस सर में, इंजन जैसा लग जाता है।
मैं मेल ट्रेन हो जाता हूँ, बुद्धि भी फक-फक करती है।
भावों का रश हो जाता है, कविता सब उमड़ी पड़ती है।

मैं औरों की तो नहीं, बात पहले अपनी ही लेता हूँ।
मैं पड़ा खाट पर बूटों को ऊँटों की उपमा देता हूँ।
मैं खटरागी हूँ मुझको तो खटिया में गीत फूटते हैं।
छत की कड़ियाँ गिनते-गिनते छंदों के बंध टूटते हैं।
मैं इसीलिए तो कहता हूँ मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
यह खाट बिछा लो आँगन में, लेटो, बैठो, आराम करो।

- गोपालप्रसाद व्यास

Fantastic Video

2010-05-04T16:46:00.003+05:30

This is superb!

Punjab Airways

2010-04-27T18:35:00.000+05:30

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage.

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety
standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 20% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation. That is a 100% improvement over the last year.

For the rest 80%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Balwinder (Bubbly) Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies and other plans.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.

But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened for you to enjoy sound effects.

For your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. You can see the sarson fields and klownies while you travel.

If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment. Our trained hostesses Bubbly Kaur; Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!! Please give them enough room to dance in the walkway as they are big in size.

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi..

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. **Charge is only 10% for country liquor served from Red Label Bottles. *

*Patiala** pegs will be served only on Patiala flights for genuine Patiala psaingers who can be easily identified by their special aroma by our trained air hostesses.

As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines. Please make sure that pilot is awake when you go to inform him.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your front side. This will also be used as a hand fan. Please fold and keep it back for next psaingers before you alight. The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off and landing.. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air sikness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets. Please take the used bags with you and throw in the kachra bin kept outside the airport for your convenience.

Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways. We hope you will go where you wanted to go.

Amazing photos of the volcanic eruption in Iceland

2010-04-25T18:35:00.000+05:30

Have a look at the Eyjafjallajokull eruption here...

Old Sher

2010-03-18T17:11:00.002+05:30

An old sher that I was reminded of today...

चंद जले आशार, कुछ हसीनाओ के खतो-खुतूत,

बाद मेरे मरने के, सामां यह मेरे घर से निकला ...

Ooof....too much dard!

True Teachers

2010-03-18T03:19:00.001+05:30

True teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create their own.

-Nikos Kazantzakis, poet and novelist (1883-1957)

Bhagwad Gita and Junk Mails

2010-02-23T18:57:00.000+05:30

Bhagwad Gita -Lord Krishna's explanation of Junk Mails !

Krishna: Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders ..

Arjun: But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honorable elders who are logged on to honorable domains?

Krishna: Paartha, at this moment they neither are your friends nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.

Arjun: Murari ! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from Software

Industry itself...

Krishna: Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this material world you have none and you are committed to none. Junk mails have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep sending junk mails.

Arjun: but Devaki Nandan...........!

Krishna: Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru Dronacharya.

Arjun: Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?

Krishna: Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra, the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these junk mails move from system to system.

Arjun: How can one define junk mail?

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be conquered nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.

Arjun: Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear.You have opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya and read all the junk mails myself.

........ MAHAAABHAAAAARAT .............

Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain So, go on, contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet again to send this junk mail to all!!

A brief history(??) of India

2009-12-15T17:17:00.000+05:30

A BRIEF BUT Complete History of India : As written by a Std X schoolboy, with all the original spellings. Please pay special attention to the spellings and the "derived" nomenclature. If you don't know all this -- you are history!!!

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.

The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted toproduce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.

Quotes!

2009-12-09T14:26:00.000+05:30

Credulity is belief in slight evidence, with no evidence, or against evidence.
- Tryon Edwards

The credulity of dupes is as inexhaustible as the invention of knaves."
- Edmund Burke

Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
- Anonymous

There is no sin except stupidity.
- Oscar Wilde

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
-Anonymous

Om Prakash Aditya

2009-11-08T17:49:00.004+05:30

I am a great fan of Om Prakash Aditya. He was a great hindi poet and satirist. A master of laughter in the pre-cable days, he commanded great admiration at DD on the regularly broadcast "Hasya Kavi Sammelan".

Remembering him I got to know that he passed away some six months ago in an accident! May God rest his soul in peace.

Some lines from a poem of his...it is the lamentation of a student about the vast course syllabus.

नास हो इतिहास का, सन के समंदर बह गए,
मर गए वो लोग, रोने के लिए हम रह गए,
बाबर, हुमायूँ, शाहजहाँ, और अकबर आप था,
कौन न जाने किसका बेटा, कौन किसका बाप था!

ज़िन्दगी भर लिख न पाया मैं चेकोस्लोवाकिया

अंक के अतिरिक्त मुझको और कुछ भाता नहीं,

क्या करूँ लेकिन गुणा करना मुझे आता नहीं,

अकल अल-जब्रा हमारी जाएगी जड़ से पचा,

तीन मैं से छह गए और क्या बाकी बचा?

भुगूल में गत वर्ष आया गोल है कैसे धरा,

और मैंने एक पल मैं लिख दिया उत्तर खरा,

गोल है पूरी कचोरी, और पापड़ गोल है,

गोल है लड्डू, जलेबी, रसगुल्ला भी गोल है,

गोलगप्पा गोल है मुंह भी हमारा गोल है

इस लिए हे मास्टरजी यह धरा भी गोल है.

Childhood fantasies

2009-11-08T17:37:00.000+05:30

Some things never die. When we were young, there used to be this popular belief amongst us kids that one could make an eraser from pencil shavings. My brother and I were serious subscribers to this strange alchemy experiment. Once our mother got us a new box of pencils (yipee!) and we dutifully sharpened it away completely to gather the wooden shavings. The scolding was unbelievable!

I had forgotten all about my belief in this Indian Alchemy till recently. My brother has told me that his son and daughter are the latest proponents of this idea. When the son was quizzed (he is elder) as to where did he get to learn such nonsense, he replied, "मेरे दोस्त ने स्कूल में बताया था!"

I think this is a kind of rumour that gets handed down from one generation to the next! If you have any rumours of your to share, please do comment.

Chappal Saathi

2009-11-08T17:26:00.001+05:30

Sometimes, we use a thing due to habit, it becomes second nature. We are dependent on it for our comfort. If we are away from it, a strange emptiness nags at the back of the mind. It is difficult to wean oneself away from such habits.

Happened with me in the case of a pair of slippers. I purchased this leather pair from a shop near my home. It was super comfy and I was hooked. Alas it did not last forever and was in tatters some 2 years later (What else do you expect from footwear that I would have worn to bed, had not my wife given me that look). I went to the same shop for another pair but he told me that it was not available any longer! I refused to part with my old pair and continued to wear it, despite my wife's remonstrations and threats.

I was in a mall one day and saw someone else wearing the same pair. My heart jumped for secret joy! Gathering courage, I went up to the chap and asked him very sheepishly about where he got that pair. The chap gave me the biggest of the smiles and mentioned the same shop I had purchased them from. When I recounted my failed mission to purchase another pair from that shop, he responded, "यार बात तो है इस चप्पल में...मैं भी ढूंढ रहा हूँ! मिले तो बताना!" When I told my wife about my "Encounter with the Stranger in the Mall", she burst out laughing and said, "वो आपका चप्पल साथी हुआ!"

I am still searching. I found a comparable pair and was compelled to throw my old pair, but alas, the new ones don't match it so far.

Sajan Re Jhooth Mat Bolo

2009-11-07T13:59:00.001+05:30

The simple lyrics, the deeply meaningful words, the gentle sway of the folk music and the amazing cinematography of this song make it one of my favourites!

Facebook

2009-11-02T08:33:00.002+05:30

Oh when I sneeze

I want the world to know

And in Facebook I’ve found

The means make it so

When I scratch my face

My friends must be informed

Privacy has lost the war

Another bastion stormed

When I wipe my butt

And the paper is 2-ply

Everyone must learn

What, when and why

When the weather is sunny

The word must go out

And when it is cloudy

My Facebook must shout

When the kids are naughty

I must share my woe

And when they are nice

The world must surely know

My life’s an open (Face)book

Though nothing’s worth a read

But everyone knows my moods

Everyone knows my needs

And of course, I can ‘like’

And I can ‘nudge’ and ‘poke’

It gives me a definite high

Much higher than coke

I am constantly in touch

With people far and wide

All hear every word

All hear every aside

So, keep on writing, folk

I need my fix for sure

I am now picking my nose

Thought you'd like to know

– Kishore Asthana

How to catch a Lion

2009-10-31T17:03:00.001+05:30

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you..

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:

Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders

More quotations

2009-10-31T17:00:00.000+05:30

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.

~John Junor~

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

~Robert A. Humphrey~

Annual income twenty pounds,

annual expenditure nineteen point six,

result happiness.

~Charles Dickens (1812-1870)~

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.

~Dale Carnegie~

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

~Rose Franken~

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

~Proverbs 23:7~

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

~Bob Inglis~

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.

~Bette Davis~

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words:

" I do not know."

~Andre Maurois~

Constant dripping hollows out a stone.

~Lucretius~

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

~Anonymous~

Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.

~Thomas Szasz~

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

~Kin Hubbard~

Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.

~Samuel Paterson~

Count your blessings, they are more than you think, and more than you are told.

~MountainWings~

Why do we shout when we are angry!

2009-10-31T16:57:00.000+05:30

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

Geometry can be tough!

2009-10-31T16:55:00.000+05:30

The toughness will make you want to play this game again and again! My best is 3.2.

Kya tere baap kaa road hai?

2009-10-31T16:53:00.000+05:30

An apocryphal story involving Russi Mody. (Ex MD Tata Steel, Jamshedpur)

I would like to believe that the following story actually happened. It is so typically Russi. It is said that once Russi Mody was on an official trip to (the then) Bombay. Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group. Russi was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. Russi was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.

Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay House and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberties to park his Merc in an other-wise no parking zone. A conscientious traffic cop noticed all this and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance.

In a gruff voice the Pandu Havaldar asked Russi. "Kyun bhidu, baap kaa sadak samajh kay rakha hai kya?"

Russi very non-chalantly replied: "Haan kuchh aisa hi hai. Aapko English padhna aata hai kya?"

Then he gently held the Pandu's arm and walked him to the kerbside and pointed to the metal signage of the road. He asked the cop "Kya Likha Hai?"

The cop said "Sir Homi Mody Street".

A mischievously smiling Russi discloses"Woh Mera Baap Tha".

Russi was allowed to leave his car parked in the "No Parking" Zone that Sunday morning.

Three Parables to make you Think

2009-10-31T16:50:00.000+05:30

The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'

[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we do not do anything ourselves.]

The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'

[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]

The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.

The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet... The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.]

Johnny Johnny Reloaded

2009-10-30T16:41:00.000+05:30

Johny Johny
Yes Papa

Pvt Company
Yes Papa

Any Motivation
No Papa

Many Tension
Yes Papa

Do u Sleep well
No Papa

Boss Ki Galiyan
Yes Papa

Increment
Ha ha ha :)

Friendship!

2009-10-28T12:54:00.002+05:30

Friendship is not about “I m sorry “ its about “abbe teri galti hai “

Friendship is not about “I m there for u” or “I missed u “ it’s about “kahan marr gaya saale “

Friendship is not about “I understand “ its about “sab teri wajah se hua manhus“

Friendship is not about “I care for u “ its about “kamino tumhe chhod ke kahan jaunga “

Friendship is not about “I m happy for ur success “its about “chal party de saale“

Friendship is not about “I love that girl“ its about “saalo izzat se dekho tumhari bhabhi hain “

Friendship is not about “R u coming for outing tomorrow “its about “ nautanki nahi, hum kal bahar ja rahe hai “

Friendship is not about “Get well soon “its about “ Itna piyega toh yehi hoga“

Friendship is not about “All the best for ur career“ it’s about “ bahut hua, abhi toh switch mar saale“

Chauteau di Khachchar ki Laat

2009-10-18T21:20:00.000+05:30

From: J U G U L A R V E I N

Just for kicks

Jug Suraiya

My friend Reva – editor and publisher of Sommelier India, the country’s first and, so far only, wine magazine – is puzzled. So, presumably, is Sharad Pawar who, according to popular report, owns acres and acres of grape-producing vineyards in the Nashik region. And so would have been Thomas Jefferson, who remarked that no people who drank wine and beer in preference to hard liquor would ever find themselves in dire need of applying en masse for membership to Alcoholics Anonymous. All these very different people are – or in Jefferson’s case, were – advocates of the civilised practice of enjoying the occasional glass of wine. To them, and many others like them, wine does not represent the demon drink. Far from it. Wine is a lyric in liquid form, music turned into moisture, a rhapsody played on the palate. So, how come, they ask, don’t more Indians drink wine? Dry days, punitive excise duties and economic downturns notwithstanding, the sales of whisky, rum, vodka, gin and brandy show no signs of decline. On the contrary, they get higher and higher, as presumably do the customers of these products. But, by and large, wine remains a no-no among India’s drinking glasses.

And the reason for this is simple: the idiom of wine is all wrong. When asked to ‘nose’ a wine you aren’t meant to snort the stuff up your nostril, like snuff, but rather to inhale its ‘bouquet’, or the smell it gives off. Or when your host urges you admire the ‘legs’, don’t gawp around looking for the young female in the micro-mini; the ‘legs’ are the streaks of wine which adhere to the side of the glass when you tilt it. A wine said to have an ‘excellent finish’ is not an invitation to grab the bottle by the neck and swig it down till empty in record time; ‘finish’ denotes the lingering aftertaste that the wine leaves in your mouth. ‘Well-structured tannins’ don’t refer to generously endowed bikini-clad sunbathers bronzing themselves on a beach but to the acidic elements, which add complexity to the wine. And no, a ‘complex vintage’ is not a senior citizen in need of psychiatric care but a wine which has matured and gained subtle nuances of taste with age.

In short, wine talks too much. Or rather, people talk too much about it. This was brought home to me succinctly some years ago at a Haryana liquor vend when i was buying a bottle of Bosca (which in Haryanvi is pronounced ‘Bose-ka’). In those days Bose-ka was the only Indian wine available, and which, as a wine, made for an admirable varnish remover. A fellow customer buying an Auntie Kooty (not a female relative but a brand of local whisky, namely Antiquity, the second most preferred drink in Haryana after Arkoolis rum, known to the outside world as Hercules rum) looked at my bottle of Bose-ka and asked ‘Usme kick-shick hai?’ (Does it have kick-shick?)

In a single sentence that unsung Haryanvi had summed up the fatal flaw in the wine marketing strategy in India: never mind your noses, and legs, and fruity bouquets and rare vintages. Where was the kick-shick quotient? If Reva, and Sharadji, and others, are serious about popularising wine culture in India, they have to address the issue of the kick-shick, which is the main – some would say the only – reason why people drink in India, or at least in Haryana, where men are men, and don’t care who knows it. Tanninsshannins. Show us the kick-shick.

To be a success, in Haryana anyway, wines should be rated by the kick they provide. A mild, low-kick wine should be given a ‘One Mule’ rating, a stronger wine be given a ‘Two Mule’ grade, and a real pehalwan super-strong wine be accorded a ‘Three Mule’ status. And an appropriate name for them? What else but Chauteau di Khachchar ki Laat?

Whodunit!

2009-09-10T13:47:00.000+05:30

Whodunit?

New way to make money - Borrow it

2009-09-01T20:31:00.000+05:30

With negative interest rates coming in, I am tempted :)

Warden rides Rhino!!!

2009-09-01T19:55:00.001+05:30

Wow!!!

Brussles Sprouts and Neanderthals

2009-08-24T18:18:00.001+05:30

If you think cabbages, brussels sprouts or other such vegetables taste bitter, then you could be the descendant of a Neanderthal! Check out here.

The hat-seller and the monkeys (Ver 2.0)

2009-08-24T16:46:00.003+05:30

It's an old story that we have read in Class 3 but this one is with a new ending.

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat seller sat down and thought of how he could get the hats back. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to his mind. He took his own hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller. He had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said, "You think only you have a grandfather !!!???"

Kaminey

2009-08-22T11:16:00.002+05:30

If something could force me out of my blogging slumber, it had to be something that was nauseating or exhilirating. I am glad it is the latter.

Watched Kaminey recently. Wow. That sums up my reaction. I have this habit of checking reviews of movies after I have watched them so that I know which reviewers to trust next time. All the reviewers have given good ratings which are justified. Even Raja Sen of Rediff, a reviewer so hopelessly out of league of Bollywood cinema, has given it high ratings.

Intelligent cinema was one word that was common to the five reviews I read. I agree. In fact I witnessed several "non-intelligent" people watching the movie with utter confusion since they could not make out what was happening in many parts. I was actually enjoying their discomfort as they squirmed and shifted uneasily in their seats! Shame on me.

The dialogue in Marathi, Bangla (don't say Bangali or Bengali; that is a misspelling!!), Portugese, Hindi, English, Hinglish and Bambaiya Hindi was kinda hard to follow, even for me. But it was real and natural. I am sure gangsters who travel to India, don't start conversing in Hindi suddenly, for the benefit of Indians ;)

I enjoyed dhan te nan immensely. This is a sure shot evergreen hit. A regular at all dance parties! Disappointed that other songs don't match up!

The ending was along expected lines of Hindi cinema. After all, as SRK says in OSO, "Jab tak hamari picture mein sab kuch theek nahin ho jaata, picture khatam nahin hotee. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost." I wish Vishal Bhardwaj had the guts to show a different ending. A dying hero adds glamour to the movie, a la AB in Sholay!

Shahid Kapoor is really convincing in his role as Guddu and Charlie!

I am a confirmed fan of VB now. I personally think Omkara had better overall impact. I will give omkara 4.5 out of 5. Kaminey gets 4 out of 5.

Look at the web looking at you!

2009-08-22T11:07:00.002+05:30

You see the web regularly. Ever wondered about how does the web see you? Have a look at how you are perceived by the web at this interesting website.

Outwit the cat

2009-08-11T15:10:00.004+05:30

A nice game I recently stumbled upon. Quite addictive. I could not get it the first three times. I got it the fourth time but then not the next 10 odd times. Now I can get it about 75% of the times I play. But what's the game? Ahh! Here it is.

And if you can't outwit it at all or do so accidentally, drop me a line. I will expose "the method" to trap the cat ;)

Google Books - New Features

2009-06-23T16:26:00.003+05:30

How does one use a book in the real world? Shouldn't that be the benchmark of how one should be able to use an ebook?

Google attempts that...more details here.

Weary India Lost It!

2009-06-23T16:23:00.002+05:30

Wow - What an analysis, that too on 31st May!

Reuse and recycle

2009-06-11T17:10:00.000+05:30

A very nice thought on recycling!

Bubbles and Lent

2009-06-11T17:02:00.004+05:30

Each Friday night after work, Bubbal Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of Bubbal's neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Bubbal, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubbal attended Mass... And as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, ''You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now, you are a Catholic."

Bubbal's neighbours were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubbal's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubbal, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted: "Oye, you waz born a chicken and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken and you waz raised a lamb but now yara, you are a potato and tomato."

Be loyal to job, not to company!

2009-06-01T13:06:00.003+05:30

Interesting.....Don't miss last Questions...

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the 'job hopper' (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it.. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the 'company loyal' employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys - the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:

Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?

A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?

A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?

A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make

the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?

A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying 'employer loyalty'. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?

A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a 'permanent' job, so I need not worry about 'what will I do if I lose my job'. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.

Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.

A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being 'company loyal' and not 'money earning and saving loyal'. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving - I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.

Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?

A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me - can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the

expected salaries.

Q: What have you gained by doing such things?

A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.

Q: So you decided on your own hike?

A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a 'debt-free' life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basi without waiting for the year to complete.

Q: So are you debt-free now?

A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a

company lays me off because of lack of money.

Q: Who is complaining?

A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me - why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.

Q: What is your advice to professionals?

A: Like Narayan Murthy had said - love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.

Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?

A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire company saying, 'well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you." But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO Etc will say, "It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go." So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Bambai vs. Dilli

2009-05-30T16:50:00.001+05:30

Ten reasons why South Mumbai did not vote

10. Clashed with Salsa class

9. Election whites not drycleaned

8. No candidate a hottie

7. Tony Jethmalani contesting from suburbs. Sigh

6. No valet parking at booth

5. Spotted servant in queue ahead of us

4. Driver did not come

3. "Elections over dude, Obama won!"

2. No party tackling real issues, eg, reduce Gold Gym rates

1. No home delivery!

Why Delhi turned up to vote

1. They loved the Tata Tea ad

2. They saw the Chopras go out, and thought they must overtake the Lancer from left

3. Bunty's girlfriend wanted it when they were going out for some Chinese

4. Diwan Saheb on second floor persuaded them. He is jaaaint sectry in DPCC

5. Without stable government, real estate will not revive

6. Election Commission directly asked Pappu. So nice of them!

7. Grandfather started talking on Partition, and they had to run

8. Auntyji hoped some TV crew will come and take a soundbite

9. Baba Ramdev said it is good for health

And finally

10. They had to beat the Bambaiyaas. Izzat ka sawaal hai, hainji?

Bill Gates & Kantibhai

2009-05-09T18:16:00.002+05:30

BILL GATES organizes an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assemble in a large room. One of the candidates is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never have had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself 'I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave. 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates askes the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has left.

Bill Gates joins them and says 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says...... 'kem chho?'

The other candidate answers ........ 'ek dam majama.'

MBAs - A fresh perspective!

2009-05-04T13:45:00.000+05:30

A favourite one of mine:

MBA मरते नहीं, जिंदा दफनाये जाते हैं,

हर तीन महीने में तड़पाए जाते हैं,

कब्र खोल कर देखो तो,

कब्र में भी presentation देते हुए पाए जाते हैं !

Shayari

2009-04-13T17:08:00.000+05:30

One from Mandeep, a student of mine:

नहीं पूछता कोई सवाल कभी ये ही तो परेशानी है,

दिल में ही रह जाती है जो चाहतें हमेशा सुनानी हैं

बाहर से ज़िन्दगी नज़र आये चाहे कितनी भी हसीं

अन्दर झांक के देखो तो हर चेहरे की इक कहानी है

Symbol for Rupee

2009-04-08T12:41:00.001+05:30

Vote for the symbol of Rupee.

Essay on cow

2009-04-01T01:10:00.002+05:30

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is an essay supposedly written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations. Enjoy!

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by bowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow.

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS, is bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]

Jesus played cricket as a child

2009-03-31T23:25:00.002+05:30

Interesting, eh!

Here's more detail!

On pessimism

2009-03-28T14:25:00.001+05:30

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist."
-- Mark Twain
Pessimist: one who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both."
-- Oscar Wilde
Remember, whenever one door closes, another slams in your face.

Taxes

2009-03-28T14:22:00.001+05:30

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
-- John Maynard Keynes
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
The only certainities in this world are death and taxes.
--Benjamin Franklin
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
--Robert Heinlein

Recession predicted in 2006!

2009-03-28T14:13:00.001+05:30

It's not often that we get the chance to see quite as clearly as we do in this video how pundits and experts can be completely and totally wrong. But if the people ridiculing and condescending to Peter Schiff in this video are deceiving themselves, how sure can we be that our most cherished convictions are correct?

This video is from 2006 !

College Days

2009-03-28T10:48:00.004+05:30

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kya padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse likhunga......."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "

2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is

........huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............."

"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata hai...."

4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya....... abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..." SAHI !!

5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."

6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX........sala system hi kharab hai "

7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2....... Gaya..........fail pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar......"

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai"

9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet de........na tu samjega na wo........"

11. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar....to ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa......is baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:

"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas Jaggi ka dhabe ki yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

Are you a workaholic?

2009-03-28T10:42:00.003+05:30

From: The Hongkong Standard

Easy ways to spot the workaholics lurking among us

Are you a workaholic? Many lurk among us. They secretly enjoy business trips. They stay late in the office even when they don't have to. They LIKE Monday mornings. I discovered one in my own family when I asked my brother-in-law how his family camping holiday went, and he said: "interminable." (They hate holidays.)

I was shocked to learn from a scientific publication (a women's magazine) that you can find out whether you are a workaholic by counting how many days of holiday you lose because you have not taken them, but your employer won't let you carry them over.

One to three is troubling. Four to six shows you have a problem with work-life balance. Seven to nine makes you a serious work addict. Ten or more can be used in divorce proceedings. (I lost eight days' holiday on my last contract, which puts me in the "serious work addict" category).

But I'm not the worst. I know at least three individuals who live only for their jobs. What gives them away is their terminology. Here are 14 signs that you are a workaholic.

1. Your spouse gives you a dark look and says: "We need to talk." You reply: "I'll schedule a performance appraisal session at the earliest opportunity" - and then arrange a business trip that takes you away for two weeks.

2. You refer to your child's pocket money as "the weekly cash injection."

3. Your spouse complains that you are deeply in debt to the bar near your office, and you reply: "I'm not in debt, just highly leveraged in the beverage sector."

4. You refer to your grandfather's death as "a family downsizing."

5. Your spouse complains that you do not take enough interest in the children, and you say: "Okay, fine, where's the feedback form?"

6. The message in the Valentine's Day card you write to your spouse has bullet points.

7. Your child informs you the child next door has a new bicycle, and you reply: "The quota for capital expenditure is full for this financial year."

8. You think of your Sunday afternoon family walk as a "team-based bonding activity."

9. You go to school for a meeting with your child's teacher and your first question is: "So, what are his core competencies?"

10. When your child's teacher explains that your child is failing four of his nine subjects, you shout: "What do you expect when you give him such an overdiversified portfolio?"

11. When your daughter announces that she is getting married, you ask her whether she is ready to "undergo such a major paradigm shift."

12. Just before you start your speech at your daughter's wedding reception, you ask her to take minutes.

13. Your speech starts with the words: "Any apologies for absence?"

14. You always choose horrible holiday destinations, because your sole criterion is whether the country's currency has plunged recently. For your daughter's honeymoon, you've booked a cholera hospital in Zimbabwe.

One of the worst workaholics I ever met was a woman who once said: "I don't have friends. I have contacts." I told her she was a work- obsessed automaton devoid of human feelings. She replied: "You say that as if it was a bad thing." That day, I left the office early.

At least we didn't do that

2009-03-28T10:37:00.002+05:30

I quote this from an email list I am subscribed to:

"Interesting read [[about Iceland]]....about a country which stood at No.1 in UN's 2008 Human Development Index.... Where the stock market multiplied by 9 times between 2003 and 2007.....Where fishermen became investment bankers.... Whose debt today is 850% of its GDP.... Where people blow up their newly bought cars to claim insurance....

Its the only nation on earth that Americans could point to and say, “Well, at least we didn’t do that.”

I agree!

Read the complete article.

To a teacher

2009-03-23T23:55:00.002+05:30

This is amazing and so true. I try to do most of it in my classes but there is still way to go!

To a Teacher

Robert A Grager

(Taken from ‘Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You his Shirt’ by Harvey Mackay )

A class knows you from what they see in you, hear from you and gather from your attitudes and mannerisms.

Talk clearly. Use the device of repeating if you think there is a need. And PAUSE frequently, allow your students time to collect into a sequence, into some of order their impressions of what you have said. Nothing interferes with good instruction so much as confusion, both from without and from within.

Do not expect immediate grasping of your point, illustration, or reference. After all, the material of the morning should be old stuff to you, but new to your class. Did you grasp what your lesson contains the first time you met its content?

Hold the attention of everyone. When attentiveness wanders, so does thought and, like a swarm of bees, one wanderer can lead the hive into the woods. Be prepared for that! Have something new and arresting up your sleeve- a question, or tell a story, or drop a book, or just stand there in silence if you feel capable of carrying that little trick off, then begin over again.

But don’t complain, ever, about lack of attention. The fault is yours! You are supposed to be interesting one. See that you earn the distinction as a teacher. Better to go far afield and retain the respect of the class than to belabor a point on them without interest; for example, if it’s the weekend of the big game, the big dance, a student uprising, don’t fight it. Surprise them with a choice bit of timely wisdom, give them a five-minute exercise and then let your hair down and talk about what interest them. A good teacher expects a certain amount of such interrupting to his schedule and so plans it, like holiday in industry.

Be eager, especially about your subject, and being eager, be aware that others may have to learn to share your eagerness. You may have to entice them into a readiness for this eagerness concept, so many of the young being prone to put on the armor plate of sophisticated indifference, but, by and large, the young like to laugh. Laughter can be the salt of learning. Note that I said “can be,” for it takes taste and judgment to know when to laugh, when to frown, when to encourage and when to discourage. That is teaching. Would you have it otherwise? But how monotonous all one tone would be, gay and frivolous or acid sour or learnedly dull - heaven forbid! To be dull is the cardinal sin - like being dead. For living and growing is learning and you are one of the landmarks along the road of learning.

Expect no more than is reasonable. After all, you are not responsible for anything but what you contribute to each member of your classes. However, see that you contribute and do not fail into that common apology for inadequacy by blaming a pupil as “hopelessly dumb, stupid, uncooperative, lacking in foundation, below standard, etc.

You are in charge of your class and its instruction because it is up to you to produce commendable results. There is no need for any accusation, nor for loudness. Do not resort to argument. No two classes are identical. So be aware constantly of any special needs or ways that will help you and yours - and do not hesitate to repair any ill-advised venture. These are young minds you are dealing with and your contact with them is precious, never go to class unprepared. That is like a carpenter showing up for work without his tools. If you have to face the dilemma of “what shall I do with them third period this morning?” (As you undoubtedly will), be honest. Your lack is understandable and no explanation is necessary. Turn the class over for discussion, for repair of recent weaknesses, or for one of those “games” you should have up your sleeve. But don’t try to bluff your way through. It will take months to erase the stain of that shame and some of the blemish you never will remove because it is where you can’t get at it.

Sachin Chalisa

2009-03-14T21:19:00.005+05:30

A vintage one from the time before the World Cup 2003 final.

Really nice one. One of my personal favourites, not just because it is about one of my favorite cricketers, but because it shows the extent of veneration and demi-god status enjoyed by cricketers in India.

Click on the image to see it completely!

Did the Cosmos exist before the Big Bang?

2008-12-12T20:34:00.003+05:30

Well, this article seems to think so. I am tempted to co-relate this to the Hindu concept of the Cosmos (Brahmand) which says that it behaves like the lungs of the Brahma, inflating and deflating at regular intervals! May be this scientific theory has the same end result.

Tendulkar

2008-10-29T23:27:00.001+05:30

I have always liked this piece about Sachin Tendulkar!

It was 1992. The 18-year-old was up on his toes, carving bowlers like cuts of prime Australian beef to all parts of Perth's WACA ground. The murmurs around the press box grew. The boy had ability, potential, even the makings of a world-class batsman. John Woodcock could bear it no longer. The cricket correspondent of the London Times, wearing his 70s well, stood up, put out his hands and called for silence. "Gentlemen," he declared, "he is the best batsman I have seen in my life." A pause later: "And unlike most of you, I have seen Bradman."

Eat Ghee

2008-10-29T15:48:00.002+05:30

Eat Ghee. This is what my mother maintained inspite of people telling her that other oils were safer. She replied, "It is healthier as you need to use less of it."

Seems she was correct. Here.

Some funny and motivational quotes

2008-10-28T08:23:00.000+05:30

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant

He that teaches himself hath a fool for a master.
- Benjamin Franklin

Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.

We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
- Samuel Butler

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
- Albert Schweitzer

Books Read

2008-10-19T22:55:00.003+05:30

Finshed reading a lot of books recently.

1. One Night at the Call Center - Too filmy in my opinion. This I thought when I read the book. At that time I did not even know that a film titled "Hello" is under production based on the same. A letdown in the story/plot department, after reading Five Point Someone. But the humour was quite good.

2. Anything for You Ma'am - Another of the I-was-in-engineering-college-and-I-had-the-time-of-my-life genre. Good narration, predictably filmy story. Nothing exciting in the story but author can certainly lift one's spirits!

3. Inheritance of Loss - Nice, if slow. Did it deserve the Booker....err...umm....how to say this....aaaahhh.....No, I don't think it deserved a prize like that.

4. A Prisoner of Birth - Surprisingly filmy from Jeffrey Archer. Old Jeff is losing his touch. Better than whatitsname novel about Art Auction and 9/11 but nothing better. So second last on my all time JA ranking.

5. The McKinsey Way - Reread this classic. Nice reading!

6. The Broker - Reread this John Grisham thriller. Above average by his standards. Could have been better.

7. The Intelligent Investor - Benjamin Graham's classic with updated commentary from Jason Zweig. Reread this one. How true it sounds in today's financial crisis. I am glad I followed his advice in spirit in letter. Following it still. In Warren Buffett's words - "When the world is greedy, be fearful. When the world is fearful, be greedy." I am following it :)

How Jet Airlines could have averted the layoffs

2008-10-18T08:17:00.002+05:30

Naresh Goyal and Jet Airlines are under a lot of media glare and criticism for their laying off of 1900 employees. Here's how they could have averted this by using some innovative cost-cutting mechanisms!

Ravana, Immortality and Vijaydashmi

2008-10-16T20:56:00.007+05:30

This Vijaydashmi/Dusshera I was watching a live telecast of Ramlila and a strange thought came to mind, while I watched the battle scene between Ram and Ravana. As you would know, Ravana does not die when Ram hits him with arrows. When Ram cuts off his head a new one grows in its place. Ravana's brother Vibhishana points out to Ram that Ravana has been given the boon of immortality by Brahma and will die when the Amrita (Elixir) in his navel is hit by an arrow. Ram does that and Ravana is killed.

What struck me was there could be a scientifc basis for all this. Today's stem cell technology does look forward to doing this by harvesting stem cells from an umblical cord, the cord that ties a mother to a child, and using the stem cells harvested from there as a source for all 220 kinds of cells that make up a human body. Of course the end part of the umblical cord goes on to form the navel of the child. This is well documented and future research on human cloning also proceeds in that direction only with a large amount of attention focussed here.

Could it be that Ravana was a user of extremely advanced Microbiology and Genetic Research and that in addition to probably being the first person to use aviation also has this thing to his credit. We will know one day for sure.

As I search the internet for Ravana+Genetics or Ravana+Stem Cell or Ravana+Cloning, I can find related results but nothing which suggests what I have just suggested. When this post is published this may soon become the first entry on all these topics. Am I only one so far in the world to think of this theory, when the evidence has been staring us all our lives?

The real purpose of blogging

2008-10-15T18:17:00.004+05:30

Got this lovely one from Savage Chickens, one of my favorite pieces of cartooning! Check out the website at www.savagechickens.com

Shiddat

2008-10-15T10:43:00.002+05:30

I watched Om Shanti Om last year and wanted to write about it for a long time but just could not get around to doing it. Heard a song from the movie and was reminded of it.

The moview was OK(pun unintended). I mean the story is nothing great to write home about. But I liked the treatment of the extremely hackneyed subject. The celebration of Indian film industry, with a self-deprecating look at our movies, was a refreshing change. I think Manoj Kumar should have realised that Shahrukh Khan lampoons himself more than Manoj Kumar. I really liked the awards ceremony portion, where Shahrukh Khan is nominated for movies that are strikingly similar to each other, the same slow-motion-running-into-each-other's-arms, etc. Akshay Kumar's revolver-in-the-crotch routine was lovely and so was Abhishek's deadpan question, "Who's OK?"

Apart from that, the songs were amazing. Apart from "Aankhon Mein Teri" which is quite nice, the really soulful lyrics are in "Main Agar Kahoon", especially, "Kisi Zabaan Mein Bhi, Woh Lafz Hee Nahin, Ke Jinme Tum Ho Kya Tumhe Bataa Sakoon. Main Agar Kahoon, Tumsa Haseen, Kayanat Mein Nahin Hai Kahin, Tareef Yeh Bhi Toh Sach Hai Kuch Bhi Nahin." It is rare that someone like Jaaved Akhtar confesses that he has no words to describe someone, and that too in such beautiful words! Hats Off!

The other portions are quite Kitsch, but I liked one Sher:

Itni Shiddat Se Maine Tujhe Paane Ki Koshish Ki hai,

Ki Har Zarre Ne Mujhe Tujhse Milane ki Saazish Ki Hai.

Of course, this is the homegrown version of the "The Alchemist" or "The Secret"!

Policy Bazaar

2008-10-14T17:56:00.002+05:30

My friend, Alok Bansal, has started a website along with some other people. Policy Bazaar (www.policybazaar.com) is an insurance aggregator. An interesting and useful concept. The company has now received VC funding. Here are the details.

_____________________________________________________

Info Edge To Invest Rs 20 Crore In An Online Insurance Aggregator

Info Edge will pick up 49% stake in Etechaces Marketing and Consulting, which runs Policybazaar.com . Info Edge India Ltd, the owners of Naukri.com, will invest Rs 20 crore for a 49% stake in eTechAces Marketing and Consulting Pvt Ltd, an online aggregator of insurance products, the company informed the stock exchange. eTechAces runs policybazaar.com, an online aggregator of life and non-life insurance products. The website essentially collects insurance leads and let the insurance companies compete for it.

In a press note issued from the company, Info Edge, Ambarish Raghuvanshi, CFO and Director, Info Edge (India) ltd. said, “eTechAces has a great management team and a differentiated approach to distributing financial products online, by empowering the customer to enable comparison of available options and make an informed data-driven decision. The company’s bouquet of products include insurance products to be sold online, which is so far an untapped area in India. In other countries, especially in Europe, it is a high growth category."

Etechaces is founded by Yashish Dahiya who is also the CEO of the company, Alok Bansal and Avaneesh Nirjar who act as the CFO and COO of the firm respectively. It was only in July that Info Edge invested Rs 6.5 crore ($1.54 million) for a 40 per cent equity stake in Applect Learning Systems, a Delhi-based education content developer. It had already disbursed Rs 1 crore as part of the first tranche of the investment.

Earlier this year, Info Edge invested $1 million in StudyPlaces Inc, as part of the latter’s $3-million series A round led by Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers.

Back to blogging

2008-10-14T17:35:00.003+05:30

Well, it has been quite a hiatus. Forced, mostly. As I check my blog, I realise that the last entry I wrote was on 27th June. A lot has happened after that.

My wife and I had a son born on 2nd July, 2008. So to that extent, I became very busy with the running around and arranging this and that. A normal delivery and all was well with the mother and baby. Named him Samyak.

My mother expired after a brief illness on 3rd August, 2008. A deep loss, which I am yet to overcome and possibly never will. She was the pillar of strength in my life, the guiding force of most everything I did, the proverbial friend, philosopher, guide, shoulder-to-cry-on, always-here-to-help-you and many more things. I still cannot believe she left me.

Plus, there's office and the busy season, what with CAT here and students anxious and my taking Workshops here and there, there is no time. e.g. I got to run the house as well now, something that my mother used to take care of.

Have been reading lots in the meanwhile and plan to write a lot about a lot.

Didi's comedy show

2008-06-27T13:04:00.001+05:30

Here is a nice one which invoked a strong feeling of nostalgia. Didi's comedy show!

Mr. Bush, Lead or Leave

2008-06-27T12:09:00.002+05:30

I really liked this one from Thomas Friedman. His analysis stops short of saying but gives enough hints that Bush's friends in the oil business are the ones behind the current carnage in the international oil market. Bush's weak policies are hammering the dollar too, which to my mind is the biggest worry facing Americans!

A good read!

Spam King hit by 6 million dollars!

2008-06-24T20:51:00.001+05:30

Spam comes home to roost, or not! Read here.

Is It Right?

2008-06-22T20:27:00.000+05:30

Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’
Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’
And Vanity comes along and asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’
But Conscience asks the question ‘Is it right?’

And there comes a time when one must take a position that
is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do
it because Conscience tells him it is right.

~Martin Luther King~

Women without Cosmetics.....Naaah

2008-06-18T23:55:00.003+05:30

My wife and I had our usual argument about the use of cosmetics. She loves buying them and I, of course, consider this a huge waste of money.

I wanted to show how she is getting influenced by the mass-media fueled hype of cosmetics. So I typed "women without cosmetics" in google image search. I got the shock of my life (or not!) when it dutifully reported "Your search - "women without cosmetics" - did not match any documents." !!!

Try it here!

There are three results as on date and all, sadly, not relevant!

Vanity, thy name is woman!

Update on 19th October: After this post, my blog is the only link that currently appears!

Ahhhh - :)

2008-06-16T19:46:00.003+05:30

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Lawrence J. Peter

If you steal from one, it is plagiarism; if you steal from many, it is research.
- Anonymous

An anonymous quotation indicates you were too lazy to find the original author.
- Anonymous

Interglobe 2008, An MDI Initiative

2008-06-16T19:07:00.002+05:30

Management Development Institute, Gurgaon and ESCP-EAP European School of Management, London are jointly hosting InterGlobe 2008 the first in a series of annual conferences.The event is being organized by students of MDI and aims at bringing together personalities from the corporate and academic world to better understand the current business trends and issues that affect us all. The theme chosen for this year's InterGlobe Conference is 'India: Emerging Trends'.

The distinguished Speakers at this year's conference are:

1. Amit Chatterjee, Vice President, Tech Mahindra, U.K.
2. Ashish Gupta, Head of Design, British Telecom, U.K.
3. Ashvini Chopra, Head of Private Banking, ICICI, U.K.
4. Mark Bretton, Head of Outsourcing for UK & Ireland, TCS, U.K.

Discussion Panel Moderator: Dr. Davide Sola, Director, ESCP-EAP, London

Further details are available at the website.

Date of the event : 19th June

Official Website : www.interglobemdi.com

....then why does it feel so complete?

2008-06-13T11:59:00.002+05:30

The last line really touched me!

"There are more than than one hundred different types of atoms, from lightweights like hydrogen and helium through welterweights like tin and iodine and out to such mumbling mooseheads as ununpentium and ununquadium, but they're all much the same nearly nil size. You can fit more than three atoms in a nanometer, meaning it would take 10 to the 13th power, or ten trillion of them, to coat the disk of our pinhead. And the funny thing about an atom is that its outlandish smallness is still too big for it: almost all of its subnanometer span is taken up by empty space. The real meat of an atom is its core, its nucleus, which accounts for about 99.9 percent of an atom's matter. When you step on your bathroom scale, you are essentially weighing the sum of your atomic nuclei. If you could strip them all from your body, go on a total denuclear diet, you'd be down to about twenty grams, the weight of four nickels, or roughly the weight of the doornail that you would be as dead as.

"Those remaining twenty grams belong to your electrons, the fundamental particles that orbit an atom's nucleus. An electron has less than 1/1,800 the mass of a simple atomic nucleus. ... Viewed from the more impressive angle of volumetrics, we see that, while the nucleus may make up nearly all of an atom's mass, ... it takes up only a trillionth of its volume.

"Here it is worth a final reversion to metaphor. If the nucleus of an atom were a basketball located at the center of Earth, the electrons would be cherry pits whizzing about in the outermost layer of Earth's atmosphere. Between our nuclear [basketball] and the whizzing pits, there would be no Earth: no iron, nickel, magma, soil, sea, or sky, ... nothing, literally, to speak of. ... We live in a universe that is largely devoid of matter. Yet still the Milky Way glows, and still our hemoglobin flows, and when we hug our friends, our fingers don't sink into the vacuum with which all atoms are filled. If in touching their skin we are touching the void, why does it feel so complete?"

Natalie Angier, The Canon, Houghton Mifflin, 2007, pp. 85-86.

From Delanceyplace.com

Watch Sholay

2008-06-10T09:58:00.001+05:30

Watching movies is fun, isn't it? And if they are free then even better :-) - Sholay on the net, free!

Closets

2008-06-08T19:32:00.001+05:30

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton restless.
-Anonymous
(Courtsey Mountainwings)

Hmm....thought provoking !

2008-06-04T22:55:00.000+05:30

Candor affected is a dagger concealed.
-- Marcus Aurelius

The 10 most bizzare experiments of all time!

2008-06-04T15:51:00.001+05:30

Oh! This list is sickening and fascinating at the same time. Do Read!

Can Engineers be Touch-Feely

2008-06-01T17:39:00.002+05:30

An article by Chetan Bhagat.

==
I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act and it seemed to be working.

She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it. And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff.

My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else. What was it?

Why? Why? Why?

Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five!

I had to call her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything...not very touchy feely'.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data.

It's time to set the record straight.

It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari.

Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing.

Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man.

So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely...oops, I mean coffee/tea?'

She giggled. When they giggle,you have won.

Hence proved.

Man and Woman

2008-05-29T22:48:00.000+05:30

A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself"; lets her.

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad.

A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad; says, "Now what are you mad about?"

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

2008-05-29T09:35:00.002+05:30

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
He went into his father's business
He lived at home until he was 33
He was sure his Mother was a virgin,
and his Mother was sure he was God

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
He never got married
He was always telling stories
He loved green pastures

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN
His first name was Jesus
He was bilingual
He was always being harassed by the authorities

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
He talked with his hands
He had wine with every meal
He worked in the building trades

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
He called everybody "brother"
He liked Gospel
He couldn't get a fair trial

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
He never cut his hair
He walked around barefoot
He started a new religion

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN
He had to feed a crowd, at a moments notice, when there was no food.
He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
Even dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

Parrot parrots parroted address

2008-05-24T18:18:00.001+05:30

The title of this post is cryptic, eh? Well this article does it better!

Interesting

2008-05-24T18:16:00.001+05:30

Interesting to read about the travails of an aspirant for MBA! Read here.

A photo a day

2008-05-24T12:32:00.001+05:30

A nice blog article about an amazing website!

The Biggest Drawing in the World

2008-05-23T12:55:00.002+05:30

Check this out - this is indeed the biggest drawing in the world! Some people have waaay too much time, money and waaaaay too many ideas. But good, nonetheless!

Another one on Bongs!

2008-05-21T20:03:00.001+05:30

To choton, gulgul, khoka, laltu, gogol, tutu, bubu .... et al.

In these pages, I will attempt to alert people to a great injustice that is being perpetrated upon the sons of Bengal. So you thought they were wimpy to begin with.
Far from it, my friend. Their current state is a result of years of conditioning by the oppressors - namely the women. By using a variety of psychological weapons, they have reduced these fine men to what you see today.

Today we focus on the first weapon in their hands - the nickname.

When a son is born into a Bengali household, he is gifted with a resonant, sonorous name. Bengali names are wonderful things. They convey majesty and power. A man with a name like Prasenjit, Arunabha or Sukanta is a man who will walk with his head held high, knowing that the world expects great deeds from him, which was why they bestowed the title that is his name.

But it simply will not do for these men to get ahead of themselves. Their swelling confidence needs to be shattered. How can one go about it? This task is left to the mothers of these lads and is accomplished by the simple act of referring to the boy, not by his fine-sounding real name, but by a nickname which Shakti Kapoor would be ashamed to answer to.

There are some rules for creating nicknames, which need to be followed. They are -

1. Nicknames must have no connection to the real name. Arunabha cannot be called Arun. No, or that would be logical, and such things are anathema in the world of women. Instead he shall be called Bhombol. If possible, the nickname and real name must have no letters in common, but an ancient alphabet proves to be the constraining factor there.

2. Nicknames must be humiliating. If you are a tall strapping boy with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing personality, then you shall be nicknamed - Bhondu. And every time, you have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the aforementioned lass eat out of your hand - your mother will arrive and pronounce loudly - "Bhondu, chalo".
The ensuing sea of giggles will drown out whatever confidence you had earned from that last winning free-kick.

3. A nickname must refer in some way to a suitably embarrassing incident in your childhood that you would give your arm and leg to forget. If it took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming will not rid you of the nomenclature - Motka. If your face turned crimson when you cried as a toddler, you will be called Laltu. When you turn 40, your friends' children will call you Laltu Uncle. Even age will not earn you the right to be taken seriously thereafter.

4. Different members of the family will make up different nicknames - each more embarrassing than the preceding one. If one member of the family calls you Piklu, then another will call you Mitul, and yet another will call you Jumbo... The humiliation multiplies.

5. You will always be introduced by your nickname until people forget you had a real name. Ranajoy might have taken on a gang of armed men single-handedly, but Toton really didn't have a chance. After a point Toton will completely take over the beaten body of Ranajoy, weighed down by the pressure of a thousand taunts.

6. This strategy is surprisingly effective. Ask yourself - would you take Professor Rintu seriously? Or put much weight by the opinion of Dr. Bubai? Or march into battle under the command of General Thobla?

7. The power of the nickname has scarred the psyche of Bengali men everywhere. It follows them like a monkey on their backs. That too, a monkey with a flair for slapstick, that was gifted to them by their own mothers.