Thursday, April 28, 2005

Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my
shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues
of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly
man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.
"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?"
I asked.
"Still employed," he answered.

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down
answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you
like to be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next
to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?"

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Profound thoughts

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible..... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

This killed me :)

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough,
and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order
to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question:
"What is the relationship between kinetic and potential
One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and
wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there
could be something else going on there."

Monday, April 04, 2005

Does your computer look like this? This is from 1954!

Mathematics for you !

Hmm - A good point - comes very close to my own life's philosophy :D

Have we been missing the real scientific advances made possible by the internet - Antimatter for Sale on Ebay ;-)

Friday, April 01, 2005

Tiger snaps back at hidden camera
A wildlife survey camera hidden in the Sumatran rainforest survives a tiger's rage unscathed, even taking a close-up inside the animal's mouth.

This is cool - New Scientist is one of my favourite websites!