Sunday, July 31, 2011

Interconnected Tech Companies

A very nice look at the world of tech companies  - They are all the same :)

Click on the image to see the complete version.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Urzu Durkut

Lovely Song......

Chann Se Bole Chamake Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La La La Laa
Urzu Urzdurkut
Tank Tank Tank Tank Tana Tana
Chann Se Bole Chamake Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La

Naa Naa Naa Na Naaa

Hare Kwaab Ki Yeh Hari Choodiyan
Kalayi Mein Kisne Bhari Choodiyan
Hare Kwaab Ki Yeh Hari Choodiyan
Kalayi Mein Kisne Bhari Choodiyan
Uti Neend Se Chali Aayi Mein
Saath Hi Aagayi Meri Choodiyan
Saath Hi Aagayi Meri Choodiyan

Ankh Bole Kwab Kwab Deelthe Raho
Roz Koyi Ek Chand Bhelte Raho
Chaand Toote Toh Tukde Tukde Baatlena
Bol Pahiyaan Hai Raat Din Takelte Raho
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
Lala La

Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
Chann Se Bole Chamke Jab Charaar Bole
Kwaab Dekha Hai Aankh Ka Khumaar Bole
Kwaab Chalke Toh Aankh Se Tapake Bole
Channa Chlake Toh Poora Aabshaar Bole
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Urzu Urzdurkut Urzu Urzdurkut
La Laa La
Hmm Hmm

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Three Things One Must Know

There are three things that if a man does not know, he cannot live long in this world:
What is too much for him,
What is too little for him, and
What is just right for him.
     -- Swahili Proverb

Thursday, January 20, 2011

From a student - Aditya Goel  - The juvenility in a child's thoughts, the full play in his actions, the range of his imagination, compel me to wish if each person could be as innocent, and not let facts get in his way. As puerile as it could get, your imagination will keep you calm in tribulations; and who knows, one of those unconventional dreams might come true.

ख्वाबों के किस्से,
अगर सुबह से होते,
अपने मन की करते,
और मीठे सपने पिरोते.

अपने नामों को लिखना,
गीली मिटटी में होता,
हर रोज़ का गुस्सा,
बस किताबों से होता.

डर वोह मन का,
सिर्फ माँ से ही होता,
हर झूठ, हर रोना,
एक खिलोने में खोता.

रियासत के किस्से,
झूठी कहानियों में होते,
और उनके हिस्से,
हम सोते ही होते.

कभी परेशानियों में,
वोह मुस्कुराना सच्चा होता,
क्या दुनिया वोह होती,
जहां हर कोई बच्चा होता.

- आदित्य गोयल

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Soar Beyond your Fears!

Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained.

Months passed and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace
window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer."

In the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me  the doer of this miracle."

The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?"

With his head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch where the bird was sitting."

We are all made to fly -- to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

So let us learn to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Tees Maar Khan

So...I finally watched Tees Maar Khan. Despite strong protestations from so many, I had decided to watch it and watch I did.

Here's my take on the same.....

It was a different movie. If you have seen Hollywood spoof movies then you would understand this movie. I have seen at least three. I do not remember the names of even one but there are three I have seen. One is the spoof Hollywood action movies with exaggerations of the silly scenes of these movies. Then there was one which was about Superheroes and all the silly things of such movies, like wearing your underwear over your pants etc. being highly exaggerated. And then there was this movie with Angelina Jolie which was a spoof of Troy and some other American/Hollywood stuff.

What Farah Khan was trying was to make a spoof of Bollywood and its associated idiosyncracies. The Punjabi secretary (better pronounced as sectry), the Oscar crazy actor, the insider jokes over Danny Doyle and Manoj Day Shayamalan are clear cases to prove this.

However, where she fell short is that her self-referential locus could not maintain the centrality of the ideas as a result of the confusion of goals and hence the resultant amalgamation of ideas instead of the expected dichotomy of the two genres! In simple words, she forgot that she is making a spoof. End result, it is neither a movie nor a spoof. It is both and hence neither! 

It could have been way better had only one aim been maintained. She is two boats and hence in the water.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Sachin Tendulkar

It has happened - Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar has hit his 50th test century. And it once again set my memory rolling back to the past. I have always wanted to write this post every time he has hit a new record but I think everything has its time.

I was mad about cricket since 1986. The passion started  in class VI when India brownwashed England in England 2-0. It intensified in 1987 when Gavaskar reached 10,000 runs in test cricket, the first batsman to do so. And then, World Cup happened in India. Although India lost in the semis (damn you Gooch, you with your sweep stroke!) the fever was all set. The greats of those days were Gavaskar, Imran Khan, Kapil Dev, Abdul Qadir, Vengsarkar, Krishnamachari Srikanth, Vivian Richards, Curtly Ambrose, Malcom Marshall, Gordon Greenidge etc. I was greatly influenced by Qadir, whose mesmerising action I completely imbibed.  I was always running with his diagnol action, even when I walked on the road!

And then I heard about Sachin Tendulkar. It was 1988 and this boy shattered a few records with a record partnership of 664 in a school tournament in Bombay along with his classmate, Vinod Kambli. Kambli made 349 and Tendulkar 324. The newspaper article made a lot of their young age (they were 15 and I was 13). That impressed me :) The wonder boy made it to the Ranji team of Bombay very soon and hit 100 on debut against Gujrat. That was cool.....and then soon we heard that he was going to Pakistan in 1989. 

He hit Qadir for four consecutive sixes in a practice game and that had me hooked. To me, no one was over Qadir and here was this tich of a boy, hitting him all over the ground. My Qadir fascination ended soon after :-)

He was playing for India when I was in school. He was there when I was in college and then when I was doing my MBA, he was murdering Warne & co. I had been placed and there was a lot of time in the final trimester of MBA when Australia toured India. Warne was massacred....and we were thrilled. Watching cricket in a hostel has its own charm....with the running commentary of 50 other people adding to the whole atmosphere.

I still rue the 136 in Chennai where India lost by 12 runs to Pakistan. I think it makes us realise that he too is human, not God. And that adds to his charm. Had he won every match for India, it would be less fascinating. It is the recognition of the fact that he too is like us, fallible and prone to mistakes, that makes him all the more appealing.

His 98 against Pakistan in 2003 WC was another innings that stands out in my memory. The aerial shot against Shoaib Akhtar was the pinnacle of that innings.

He is still out is amazing that almost all my cricket memories are with Sachin. To me, he is Indian cricket. His humility, and his perseverance are commendable. He still practices and is the hardest working cricketer. That is what sets him apart from the others. It is not just a God-gifted ability or a natural talent but the honing and polishing of himself that makes him what he is.

Salutations, O great One! Play as long as you enjoy. We enjoy your craft!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Entitlement Mentality

One young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview and was to make the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".
The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?" The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings." The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

PJ Shayari

वो सड़क के इस तरफ थे,
हम सड़क के उस तरफ थे,
(वाह वाह)
वो सड़क के इस तरफ थे,
हम सड़क के उस तरफ थे,
(वाह वाह)
कुछ हम बढ़े, कुछ वो बढ़े,
कुछ हम और बढ़े, कुछ वो और बढ़े,
हम कुछ और बढ़े, वो कुछ और बढ़े,
(अबे आगे तो बोल)
अब हम सड़क के इस तरफ हैं,
वो सड़क के उस तरफ हैं!

Friday, July 02, 2010


Saw Raavan.....essentially Ramayan+Stockholm Syndrome+Modern politics. Very good movie. As I read somewhere....poetry in motion. The visual impact is best enjoyed in a cinema hall.

Mani Ratnam has the guts to present such a fantastic interpretation of the timeless epic.

Great work !

Sunday, June 27, 2010

ABC of Bengalis

A is for Awpheesh. This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'Vest Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etcetera.

H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No self-respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.

K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi, the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'jawggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.

Bhains Chalisa

महामूर्ख दरबार में, लगा अनोखा केस
फसा हुआ है मामला, अक्ल बङी या भैंस
अक्ल बङी या भैंस, दलीलें बहुत सी आयीं
महामूर्ख दरबार की अब,देखो सुनवाई
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस सदा ही अकल पे भारी
भैंस मेरी जब चर आये चारा- पाँच सेर हम दूध निकारा
कोई अकल ना यह कर पावे- चारा खा कर दूध बनावे
अक्ल घास जब चरने जाये- हार जाय नर अति दुख पाये
भैंस का चारा लालू खायो- निज घरवारि सी.एम. बनवायो
तुमहू भैंस का चारा खाओ- बीवी को सी.एम. बनवाओ
मोटी अकल मन्दमति होई- मोटी भैंस दूध अति होई
अकल इश्क़ कर कर के रोये- भैंस का कोई बाँयफ्रेन्ड ना होये
अकल तो ले मोबाइल घूमे- एस.एम.एस. पा पा के झूमे
भैंस मेरी डायरेक्ट पुकारे- कबहूँ मिस्ड काल ना मारे
भैंस कभी सिगरेट ना पीती- भैंस बिना दारू के जीती
भैंस कभी ना पान चबाये - ना ही इसको ड्रग्स सुहाये
शक्तिशालिनी शाकाहारी- भैंस हमारी कितनी प्यारी
अकलमन्द को कोई ना जाने- भैंस को सारा जग पहचाने
जाकी अकल मे गोबर होये- सो इन्सान पटक सर रोये
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस का गोबर अकल पे भारी
भैंस मरे तो बनते जूते- अकल मरे तो पङते जूते
अकल को कोई देख ना पावे- भैंस दरस साक्षात दिखावे
अकल पढाई करन से आवे- भैंस कभी स्कूल ना जावे
भैंस के डाक्टर मौज उङावैं- अकल के डाक्टर काम ना पावैं
अकलमन्द जग से डरै,भैंस मस्त पगुराय
भैंस चलाये सींग तो, अकलमन्द भग जाय
मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी- भैंस कभी ना बकती गारी
भैंस कभी अतंक ना करती- भैंस मेरी भगवान से डरती
तासौं भैंस सदा मुसकावै- अकल लङे ओर अति दुख पावै
अकल तो एटम बम्ब बनाये- झटके मे संसार उङाये
भैंस दूध दे हमको पाले- बिना दूध हों चाय के लाले
अकल विभाजन देश का कीन्ही- पाक बांग्लादेश ये दीन्ही
भैंस अभी तक फर्क ना जाने- एक रूप में सबको माने
हिन्दू मुस्लिम सिक्ख ईसाई- भैंस सभी को दूध पिलायी
भैंस न कोइ इलैक्शन चाहे- भैंस ना कोइ सेलेक्शन चाहे
इसकी नज़र मे एक हैं सारे- मोटे पतले गोरे कारे
भेदभाव नहिं भैंस को भाया- भैंस मे ही जनतन्त्र समाया
भैंस ना कोई करै हवाला- भैंस करै ना कोइ घोटाला
पासपोर्ट ना वीजा पाती- जब चाहे विदेश हो आती
फिर भी स्मगलिंग ना करती- भैंस मेरी कानून से डरती
ता सौं भैंस हमें है प्यारी- मंगल भवन अमंगल हारी
अकल बेअकल जो मरै, अन्त सवारी भैंस
भैंस बङी है अकल से, फईनल हो गया केस !!

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

On Books

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-Flannery O'Connor

The covers of this book are too far apart. -Ambrose Bierce quotes

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. -Groucho Marx

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. -Hadas

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me. -Anatole France

Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away. -Clarence Darrow

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book. -Kin Hubbard

Never judge a book by its movie. -J.W. Eagan

This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book -- it makes a very poor doorstop. -Alfred Hitchcock

There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. -Bertrand Russell

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress about. -Britney Spears

Americans like fat books and thin women. -Russell Baker

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.
-Raymond Chandler

It had been startling and disappointing to me to find out that story books had been written by people, that books were not natural wonders, coming of themselves like grass. -Eudora Welty

For though he'd very little Latin beyond 'Cave canem,' he had, as a young dog, devoured Shakespeare (in a tasty leather binding). -Dodie Smith

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. -Dorothy Parker

One always tends to overpraise a long book because one has got through it.
-E. M. Forster

I hate books; they only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about.
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

My sole literary ambition is to write one good novel, then retire to my hut in the desert, assume the lotus position, compose my mind and senses, and sink into meditation, contemplating my novel. -Edward Abbey

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Communication Gap

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce,and he asked her, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"Why, it is made of concrete, of course," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, frustrated and at the end of his rope, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. It's my husband who does. He says he can't communicate with me."

Inspiring - Volvo

An interesting reflection someone sent me -

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x number of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in other words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time.
As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
including the curtain rods.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Aaram Karo

This is a famous poem, that I read as a child...saw its link on Facebook today and was instantly transported to my childhood. Enjoy!

आराम करो
एक मित्र मिले, बोले, "लाला, तुम किस चक्की का खाते हो?
इस डेढ़ छँटाक के राशन में भी तोंद बढ़ाए जाते हो।
क्या रक्खा है माँस बढ़ाने में, मनहूस, अक्ल से काम करो।
संक्रान्ति-काल की बेला है, मर मिटो, जगत में नाम करो।"
हम बोले, "रहने दो लेक्चर, पुरुषों को मत बदनाम करो।
इस दौड़-धूप में क्या रक्खा, आराम करो, आराम करो।

आराम ज़िन्दगी की कुंजी, इससे न तपेदिक होती है।
आराम सुधा की एक बूंद, तन का दुबलापन खोती है।
आराम शब्द में 'राम' छिपा जो भव-बंधन को खोता है।
आराम शब्द का ज्ञाता तो विरला ही योगी होता है।
इसलिए तुम्हें समझाता हूँ, मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
ये जीवन, यौवन क्षणभंगुर, आराम करो, आराम करो।

यदि करना ही कुछ पड़ जाए तो अधिक न तुम उत्पात करो।
अपने घर में बैठे-बैठे बस लंबी-लंबी बात करो।
करने-धरने में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा बात बनाने में।
जो ओठ हिलाने में रस है, वह कभी न हाथ हिलाने में।
तुम मुझसे पूछो बतलाऊँ -- है मज़ा मूर्ख कहलाने में।
जीवन-जागृति में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा है सो जाने में।

मैं यही सोचकर पास अक्ल के, कम ही जाया करता हूँ।
जो बुद्धिमान जन होते हैं, उनसे कतराया करता हूँ।
दीए जलने के पहले ही घर में आ जाया करता हूँ।
जो मिलता है, खा लेता हूँ, चुपके सो जाया करता हूँ।
मेरी गीता में लिखा हुआ -- सच्चे योगी जो होते हैं,
वे कम-से-कम बारह घंटे तो बेफ़िक्री से सोते हैं।

अदवायन खिंची खाट में जो पड़ते ही आनंद आता है।
वह सात स्वर्ग, अपवर्ग, मोक्ष से भी ऊँचा उठ जाता है।
जब 'सुख की नींद' कढ़ा तकिया, इस सर के नीचे आता है,
तो सच कहता हूँ इस सर में, इंजन जैसा लग जाता है।
मैं मेल ट्रेन हो जाता हूँ, बुद्धि भी फक-फक करती है।
भावों का रश हो जाता है, कविता सब उमड़ी पड़ती है।

मैं औरों की तो नहीं, बात पहले अपनी ही लेता हूँ।
मैं पड़ा खाट पर बूटों को ऊँटों की उपमा देता हूँ।
मैं खटरागी हूँ मुझको तो खटिया में गीत फूटते हैं।
छत की कड़ियाँ गिनते-गिनते छंदों के बंध टूटते हैं।
मैं इसीलिए तो कहता हूँ मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
यह खाट बिछा लो आँगन में, लेटो, बैठो, आराम करो।
- गोपालप्रसाद व्यास

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Punjab Airways

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage.

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety
standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 20% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation. That is a 100% improvement over the last year.

For the rest 80%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Balwinder (Bubbly) Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies and other plans.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.

But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened for you to enjoy sound effects.

For your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. You can see the sarson fields and klownies while you travel.

If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment. Our trained hostesses Bubbly Kaur; Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!! Please give them enough room to dance in the walkway as they are big in size.

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi..

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. **Charge is only 10% for country liquor served from Red Label Bottles. *

*Patiala** pegs will be served only on Patiala flights for genuine Patiala psaingers who can be easily identified by their special aroma by our trained air hostesses.

As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines. Please make sure that pilot is awake when you go to inform him.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your front side. This will also be used as a hand fan. Please fold and keep it back for next psaingers before you alight. The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off and landing.. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air sikness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets. Please take the used bags with you and throw in the kachra bin kept outside the airport for your convenience.

Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways. We hope you will go where you wanted to go.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Old Sher

An old sher that I was reminded of today...

चंद जले आशार, कुछ हसीनाओ के खतो-खुतूत,
बाद मेरे मरने के, सामां यह मेरे घर से निकला ...

Ooof....too much dard!

True Teachers

True teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create their own.
-Nikos Kazantzakis, poet and novelist (1883-1957)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bhagwad Gita and Junk Mails

Bhagwad Gita -Lord Krishna's explanation of Junk Mails !

Krishna: Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders ..

Arjun: But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honorable elders who are logged on to honorable domains?

Krishna:  Paartha,  at this moment they neither are your friends nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.

Arjun: Murari ! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from Software
Industry itself...

Krishna:  Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this material world you have none and you are committed to none. Junk mails have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep sending junk mails.

Arjun:  but Devaki Nandan...........!

Krishna:  Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru Dronacharya.

Arjun: Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?

Krishna:  Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard disk....but you are not supposed to worry  about it. Listen Kunti putra, the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these junk mails move from system to system.

Arjun:  How can one define junk mail?

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be conquered nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.

Arjun: Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear.You have opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya and read all the junk mails myself.

........ MAHAAABHAAAAARAT .............

Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain  So, go on, contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet again to send this junk mail to all!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A brief history(??) of India

A BRIEF BUT Complete History of India : As written by a Std X schoolboy, with all the original spellings. Please pay special attention to the spellings and the "derived" nomenclature. If you don't know all this -- you are history!!!

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.

The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted toproduce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009


Credulity is belief in slight evidence, with no evidence, or against evidence.
- Tryon Edwards

The credulity of dupes is as inexhaustible as the invention of knaves."
- Edmund Burke

Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
- Anonymous

There is no sin except stupidity.
- Oscar Wilde

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Om Prakash Aditya

I am a great fan of Om Prakash Aditya. He was a great hindi poet and satirist. A master of laughter in the pre-cable days, he commanded great admiration at DD on the regularly broadcast "Hasya Kavi Sammelan".

Remembering him I got to know that he passed away some six months ago in an accident! May God rest his soul in peace.

Some lines from a poem of is the lamentation of a student about the vast course syllabus.

नास हो इतिहास का, सन के समंदर बह गए,
मर गए वो लोग, रोने के लिए हम रह गए,
बाबर, हुमायूँ, शाहजहाँ, और अकबर आप था,
कौन न जाने किसका बेटा, कौन किसका बाप था!

ज़िन्दगी भर लिख न पाया मैं चेकोस्लोवाकिया

अंक के  अतिरिक्त  मुझको  और  कुछ  भाता  नहीं,
क्या  करूँ लेकिन  गुणा करना  मुझे  आता  नहीं,
अकल अल-जब्रा  हमारी  जाएगी  जड़  से  पचा,
तीन  मैं  से  छह गए  और  क्या  बाकी  बचा?

भुगूल  में  गत  वर्ष  आया  गोल  है  कैसे  धरा,
और  मैंने  एक  पल  मैं  लिख  दिया  उत्तर  खरा,
गोल  है  पूरी  कचोरी, और पापड़  गोल  है, 
गोल  है  लड्डू, जलेबी, रसगुल्ला भी  गोल  है,
गोलगप्पा  गोल  है  मुंह  भी  हमारा  गोल  है  
इस  लिए  हे मास्टरजी  यह  धरा  भी  गोल  है.

Childhood fantasies

Some things never die. When we were young, there used to be this popular belief amongst us kids that one could make an eraser from pencil shavings. My brother and I were serious subscribers to this strange alchemy experiment. Once our mother got us a new box of pencils (yipee!) and we dutifully sharpened it away  completely to gather the wooden shavings. The scolding was unbelievable!

I had forgotten all about my belief in this Indian Alchemy till recently. My brother has told me that his son and daughter are the latest proponents of this idea. When the son was quizzed (he is elder) as to where did he get to learn such nonsense, he replied, "मेरे दोस्त ने स्कूल में बताया था!"

I think this is a kind of rumour that gets handed down from one generation to the next! If you have any rumours of your to share, please do comment.

Chappal Saathi

Sometimes, we use a thing due to habit, it becomes second nature. We are dependent on it for our comfort. If we are away from it, a strange emptiness nags at the back of the mind. It is difficult to wean oneself away from such habits.

Happened with me in the case of a pair of slippers. I purchased this leather pair from a shop near my home. It was super comfy and I was hooked. Alas it did not last forever and was in tatters some 2 years later (What else do you expect from footwear that I would have worn to bed, had not my wife given me that look). I went to the same shop for another pair but he told me that it was not available any longer! I refused to part with my old pair and continued to wear it, despite my wife's remonstrations and threats.

I was in a mall one day and saw someone else wearing the same pair. My heart jumped for secret joy! Gathering courage, I went up to the chap and asked him very sheepishly about where he got that pair. The chap gave me the biggest of the smiles and mentioned the same shop I had purchased them from. When I recounted my failed mission to purchase another pair from that shop, he responded, "यार बात तो है इस चप्पल में...मैं भी ढूंढ रहा हूँ! मिले तो बताना!" When I told my wife about my "Encounter with the Stranger in the Mall", she burst out laughing and said, "वो आपका चप्पल साथी हुआ!"

I am still searching. I found a comparable pair and was compelled to throw my old pair, but alas, the new ones don't match it so far.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Sajan Re Jhooth Mat Bolo

The simple lyrics, the deeply meaningful words, the gentle sway of the folk music and the amazing cinematography of this song make it one of my favourites!

Monday, November 02, 2009


Oh when I sneeze
I want the world to know
And in Facebook I’ve found
The means make it so

When I scratch my face
My friends must be informed
Privacy has lost the war
Another bastion stormed

When I wipe my butt
And the paper is 2-ply
Everyone must learn
What, when and why

When the weather is sunny
The word must go out
And when it is cloudy
My Facebook must shout

When the kids are naughty
I must share my woe
And when they are nice
The world must surely know

My life’s an open (Face)book
Though nothing’s worth a read
But everyone knows my moods
Everyone knows my needs

And of course, I can ‘like’
And I can ‘nudge’ and ‘poke’
It gives me a definite high
Much higher than coke

I am constantly in touch
With people far and wide
All hear every word
All hear every aside

So, keep on writing, folk
I need my fix for sure
I am now picking my nose
Thought you'd like to know
– Kishore Asthana

Saturday, October 31, 2009

How to catch a Lion

Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you..
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders