Saturday, March 28, 2009

On pessimism

  • There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist."
    -- Mark Twain

  • Pessimist: one who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both."
    -- Oscar Wilde

  • Remember, whenever one door closes, another slams in your face.


  • The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    -- Mark Twain
  • The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
    -- John Maynard Keynes

  • Smile and the world audits your taxes.

  • The only certainities in this world are death and taxes.
    --Benjamin Franklin

  • Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
    --Robert Heinlein

Recession predicted in 2006!

It's not often that we get the chance to see quite as clearly as we do in this video how pundits and experts can be completely and totally wrong. But if the people ridiculing and condescending to Peter Schiff in this video are deceiving themselves, how sure can we be that our most cherished convictions are correct?
This video is from 2006 !

College Days

1. On being Late:

"Kab shuru hui class?"

"Attendance ho gayi kya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kya padaya tha isne"

"Ek page de na.......... abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse likhunga......."

" koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

"wo bhi iss class ke liye "

2. During the lecture:

"Yesss!!!! Sirrr.......The answer is


"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko maar goli..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........"

"Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh"

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya.......gadha......."

"Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain .."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!"

3. Lab:

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"last time tu aaya the kya?""

"Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya .......chal dikha na.....bhau kyo kata hai...."

4. Sessionals Test:

"sessionals test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya....... abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya hoga...."

"Oye Sushil kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na ....... Canteen chalega..." SAHI !!

5. For attendance

"I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya "

"Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar........ Saale tera class karne ka kya faida hua....."

6. Late submission of assignments:

" Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"

"Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya........"

"They should allow XEROX........sala system hi kharab hai "

7 . After exam:

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt..."

"kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya"

"1st mein 3 marks.....2nd mein 0.......3rd mein 2....... pakka......."

"Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena........wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar......"

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Aeee.......Akash.....terese kya kya poocha....mood kaisa hai.."

"External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya......."

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai"

9 . Submission:

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"kaat kaat ke likh le...kaon padhta hai"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Jai ho computer baba ki......jai ho Ctrl C - Ctrl V ki......."

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

10 .Copying Assignments:

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

(The best one)

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar."

"Koi hint........"

"Are baba ghaseet tu samjega na wo........"

11. Exam:

"Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh NAHI aata hai" ..VERY VERY TRUE !!

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai ab kya poochenge"

"ye last time hi poochha baar nahi aana chahiye"

"tere paas is ke notes hai??"

"Neend aa rahi mujhe to...thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le" - PERFECT ONE

"Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai........"

"Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya........."
I AGREE !! !!

This one is dedicated to all my friends:

"bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Aaj har wo din jeene ko man karta hai.

kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain

kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain.

abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai

Dopahar ki class mein aakhein band karne ko man karta hai.

Doston ke room ki wo baatein yaad aati hai

exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak yaad aati hai,

college ke paas Jaggi ka dhabe ki yaad aati hai

tab ki bekar lagne wali photos chehre pe hasi laati hai.

Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai.

Par tumhari galti dekhne ka ab bhi mann karta hai.

Ek aisi subah uthne ka mann karta hai

bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai.

bas ek bar aur

wapas lautne ka man karta hai."

Are you a workaholic?

Easy ways to spot the workaholics lurking among us

Are you a workaholic? Many lurk among us. They secretly enjoy business trips. They stay late in the office even when they don't have to. They LIKE Monday mornings. I discovered one in my own family when I asked my brother-in-law how his family camping holiday went, and he said: "interminable." (They hate holidays.)

I was shocked to learn from a scientific publication (a women's magazine) that you can find out whether you are a workaholic by counting how many days of holiday you lose because you have not taken them, but your employer won't let you carry them over.

One to three is troubling. Four to six shows you have a problem with work-life balance. Seven to nine makes you a serious work addict. Ten or more can be used in divorce proceedings. (I lost eight days' holiday on my last contract, which puts me in the "serious work addict" category).

But I'm not the worst. I know at least three individuals who live only for their jobs. What gives them away is their terminology. Here are 14 signs that you are a workaholic.

1. Your spouse gives you a dark look and says: "We need to talk." You reply: "I'll schedule a performance appraisal session at the earliest opportunity" - and then arrange a business trip that takes you away for two weeks.

2. You refer to your child's pocket money as "the weekly cash injection."

3. Your spouse complains that you are deeply in debt to the bar near your office, and you reply: "I'm not in debt, just highly leveraged in the beverage sector."

4. You refer to your grandfather's death as "a family downsizing."

5. Your spouse complains that you do not take enough interest in the children, and you say: "Okay, fine, where's the feedback form?"

6. The message in the Valentine's Day card you write to your spouse has bullet points.

7. Your child informs you the child next door has a new bicycle, and you reply: "The quota for capital expenditure is full for this financial year."

8. You think of your Sunday afternoon family walk as a "team-based bonding activity."

9. You go to school for a meeting with your child's teacher and your first question is: "So, what are his core competencies?"

10. When your child's teacher explains that your child is failing four of his nine subjects, you shout: "What do you expect when you give him such an overdiversified portfolio?"

11. When your daughter announces that she is getting married, you ask her whether she is ready to "undergo such a major paradigm shift."

12. Just before you start your speech at your daughter's wedding reception, you ask her to take minutes.

13. Your speech starts with the words: "Any apologies for absence?"

14. You always choose horrible holiday destinations, because your sole criterion is whether the country's currency has plunged recently. For your daughter's honeymoon, you've booked a cholera hospital in Zimbabwe.

One of the worst workaholics I ever met was a woman who once said: "I don't have friends. I have contacts." I told her she was a work- obsessed automaton devoid of human feelings. She replied: "You say that as if it was a bad thing." That day, I left the office early.

At least we didn't do that

I quote this from an email list I am subscribed to:

"Interesting read [[about Iceland]]....about a country which stood at No.1 in UN's 2008 Human Development Index.... Where the stock market multiplied by 9 times between 2003 and 2007.....Where fishermen became investment bankers.... Whose debt today is 850% of its GDP.... Where people blow up their newly bought cars to claim insurance.... 

Its the only nation on earth that Americans could point to and say, “Well, at least we didn’t do that.”

I agree!

Monday, March 23, 2009

To a teacher

This is amazing and so true. I try to do most of it in my classes but there is still way to go!

To a Teacher
Robert A Grager
(Taken from ‘Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You his Shirt’ by Harvey Mackay )
A class knows you from what they see in you, hear from you and gather from your attitudes and mannerisms. 
Talk clearly. Use the device of repeating if you think there is a need. And PAUSE frequently, allow your students time to collect into a sequence, into some of order their impressions of what you have said. Nothing interferes with good instruction so much as confusion, both from without and from within.
Do not expect immediate grasping of your point, illustration, or reference. After all, the material of the morning should be old stuff to you, but new to your class. Did you grasp what your lesson contains the first time you met its content?
Hold the attention of everyone. When attentiveness wanders, so does thought and, like a swarm of bees, one wanderer can lead the hive into the woods. Be prepared for that! Have something new and arresting up your sleeve- a question, or tell a story, or drop a book, or just stand there in silence if you feel capable of carrying that little trick off, then begin over again.
But don’t complain, ever, about lack of attention. The fault is yours! You are supposed to be interesting one. See that you earn the distinction as a teacher. Better to go far afield and retain the respect of the class than to belabor a point on them without interest; for example, if it’s the weekend of the big game, the big dance, a student uprising, don’t fight it. Surprise them with a choice bit of timely wisdom, give them a five-minute exercise and then let your hair down and talk about what interest them. A good teacher expects a certain amount of such interrupting to his schedule and so plans it, like holiday in industry.
Be eager, especially about your subject, and being eager, be aware that others may have to learn to share your eagerness. You may have to entice them into a readiness for this eagerness concept, so many of the young being prone to put on the armor plate of sophisticated indifference, but, by and large, the young like to laugh. Laughter can be the salt of learning. Note that I said “can be,” for it takes taste and judgment to know when to laugh, when to frown, when to encourage and when to discourage. That is teaching. Would you have it otherwise? But how monotonous all one tone would be, gay and frivolous or acid sour or learnedly dull - heaven forbid! To be dull is the cardinal sin - like being dead. For living and growing is learning and you are one of the landmarks along the road of learning.
Expect no more than is reasonable. After all, you are not responsible for anything but what you contribute to each member of your classes. However, see that you contribute and do not fail into that common apology for inadequacy by blaming a pupil as “hopelessly dumb, stupid, uncooperative, lacking in foundation, below standard, etc.
You are in charge of your class and its instruction because it is up to you to produce commendable results. There is no need for any accusation, nor for loudness. Do not resort to argument. No two classes are identical. So be aware constantly of any special needs or ways that will help you and yours - and do not hesitate to repair any ill-advised venture. These are young minds you are dealing with and your contact with them is precious, never go to class unprepared. That is like a carpenter showing up for work without his tools. If you have to face the dilemma of “what shall I do with them third period this morning?” (As you undoubtedly will), be honest. Your lack is understandable and no explanation is necessary. Turn the class over for discussion, for repair of recent weaknesses, or for one of those “games” you should have up your sleeve. But don’t try to bluff your way through. It will take months to erase the stain of that shame and some of the blemish you never will remove because it is where you can’t get at it.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sachin Chalisa

A vintage one from the time before the World Cup 2003 final.

Really nice one. One of my personal favourites, not just because it is about one of my favorite cricketers, but because it shows the extent of veneration and demi-god status enjoyed by cricketers in India.

Click on the image to see it completely!