Random

An ambassador is a person who, having failed to secure an office from the people, is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
- Ambrose Bierce

There are three things that if a man does not know, he cannot live long in this world:

What is too much for him;

What is too little for him; and;

What is just right for him.

- Swahili Proverb

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed, "Come and bury my wife."

"But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker.

"I got married again," the man sobbed.

"Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

The thoughtless are rarely wordless.

- Howard W. Newton

She said she bought her dress for a ridiculous price. The truth is, she bought it for an absurd figure.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
- G. K. Chesterton

You appeal to a small, select group of confused people.

- Fortune Cookie Message

Mañana is often the busiest day of the week.
- Spanish Proverb
[Mañana means tomorrow or some unspecified time in the future. This is so true.]