Sunday, March 18, 2007

Matrimonial Ads

FISHERMAN :- Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

SALESMAN:- Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

ECONOMIST:- I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest.

MATHEMATICIAN:- Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

IT CONSULTANT:- Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.

BUSINESS MAN:- Wife wanted for company.

POLITICIAN:- I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live,to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society.................
(etc etc and never getting to the point)

CAR DEALER:- Wanted a sturdy, reliable,low depreciating wife.Should be in excellent working condition.

FARMER:- Wanted a wife from good stock.Required for breeding.

LAWYER:- I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl.The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl.The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord Myself. Any objection?

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