How to buy a private island

If you ever thought of this, and stopped for lack of directions, then here is your saviour. The Internet's guide to "Buying a Private Island".

Know someone who needs a beach shack; I think there might be no better wedding present for that person :-D

Shayari

Iss duniya mein humko nazare saare dikhe;
Qatl mera andhere mein kiya tha unhone;
Jo ujale mein dost humare dikhe.

Why Me?

Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr. was a prominent African American tennis player who was born and raised in Richmond, Virginia . During his playing career, he won three Grand Slam titles. The legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:
"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur replied:
The world over -- 50,000,000 children start playing tennis, 5,000,000 learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me? And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps you Sweet, trials keep you Strong, sorrow keeps you human, failure Keeps you Humble, success keeps you glowing, but only God keeps you going.....

Australia vs. Sri Lanka

So that's it. Aus vs. SL - that is the final lineup for the Cricket World Cup 2007. How boring to see Australia reach the final once again, a record 4th consecutive time they have managed it. And if they win, it will be a record 3rd consecutive win. In fact their domination of the game is so total that this is their 6th final appearance out of 9 WCs so far; the only times they did not manage to reach the finals were 1979, 1983 and 1992.

However, I want to see SL beat Australia. That is my personal wishlist. Sure, Hayden and Co. are batting like there is no tomorrow. And, McGrath and Co. are bowling similarly. It seems very hard to beat the Aussies in the current form. But they are beatable. SA showed that by hitting 436 when the Aussies piled up 434. NZ showed that recently, against an admittedly enervated Australian team.

But, I am tired of seeing Australian victories. I mean, come on, give us a break. We want to see these guys lose because we want a change. We are bored of the same old, same old. Hayden hits. Ponting punishes. Gilchrist gorges. McGrath murders. Bracken bellows. And Australia wins.

Australia have a continuous winning streak in WCs since the final of the WC99. The match before that was the famous tied match between them and SA. Since the final of the WC99, they have a spotless record which includes the whole of WC2003 and WC2007, so far. Sports journos are running out of superlatives to express their sheer awe of this team.

However, Australia's winning habit is killing enthusiasm in fans like me. Sure, I like to watch good cricket, which Asutralia provides in ample dollops. But there has to be some excitement in watching the match, the thrill of waiting to see the final 5 overs, where the match can go either way. Australians are too clinical in their execution and leave no scope for excitement in a match. It is like David vs. Goliath, except that the Goliath wins hands down all the time.

I don't mind a close and hard-fought victory for Australia. That would be any day better than a emphatic, convincing and one-sided victory. However, what would give me real pleasure is a SL victory; and I don't want a comprehensive one. A nail-biter, if you please, thank you very much. That is what the couch-potatoes of the world want.

I am wearing blue and yellow on Saturday. What about you?

The trillionaire club

India joins the trillion dollar economies club........Ho...Hum..... :-D

Yes, yes, we know India is growing...that it is a booming economy, it is going to beat other economies by taking away their growth and their jobs.....but what about development? Growth and development need to go hand in hand, otherwise incidents like Nandigram wil continue to haunt us.

Kapde Ka Thela

Ahem...err....all rise for the most fashionable, royal and serene highness, "Kapde Ka Thela" - For 200 pounds each, I am willing to sell them millions if they want!!! Please Please Please, Lemme Sell Them!!!

I wants to make friendships with uuuuuu

If you understand the inherent humour in and laughed at the title of this post, then check out this blog. Great one!

Funny pics

Modern Vishwamitra and Maneka

Posting some funny stuff I found floating on the net :)

How much is too much?

How much is too much? Sheryl Crow wants to limit toilet paper usage. Err...to save the environment, that's why?

"Kryptonite" discovered in mine

Hmm.....life imitates fiction. Scientists have found "Kryptonite" in a Serbian mine. Link.

So when are we going to find out that there is a real Sabu, and when he becomes angry, volcanoes do erupt on Jupiter :-D

Logic?

A scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river. "Are you crazy?" exclaimed the turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown."
"My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, you would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?"
"You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!" The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said:
"Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no logic in your stinging me. Then why did you do it?"
"It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied.
"It's just my character."

Moral:
Be careful of whom you associate with.

News from 2019 World Cup

• India failed to defeat Afghanistan in the world cup qualifier in the Asia -Pacific zone. Coach Sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match against Papua new guinea just 2 yrs ago
• Rahul Dravid, the coach of new zealand team said that Sachin should now consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy.
• Mahender Singh Dhoni broke ajit agarkars record of most no of conecutive ducks in twenty 20
• Saurav ganguly, the coach of England feels that the boys need to control their emotions on the field.
• The current leading man from bollywood bret lee advices ms dhoni to take upacting as well.
• Minnows Pakistan beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avanged their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then minnows Ireland.
• Inzamam ul haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the present coach said in a press interview that, "Boys plays well...they try hard...inshallah we wins the world cup".
• The police arrested 8 ppl for voilence after England and NZ match...Investigations revealed that these ppl were members of Dravid and Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542 members respectively.
• The Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former players like Yuvraj Singh, Md Kaif, VVS Laxman and Kumble have been invited...coach Sehwag and captain Tendulkar will present a report.
• VVS Laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected a written apology from Rahul gandhi for including him in the category of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in Brazil.

Email or Millionaire

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email." I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an
email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"


Moral of the story:
1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
3 - If you see this message on the internet, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire.
Pls Note: - Do not forward this to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes! Have a great day!

US seeks investment from India

And you thought LPG (Liberalisation, Privatisation, Globalisation) did not help? In an extremely unlikely twist...US seeks investment from India.

Read here.

The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification

A book titled "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification" has been named as the oddest book title of the year. Read more here. The most interesting part is reading the names of the past winners of the contest :-D

Mike Tyson in Bollywood Movie

Yohi hone se reh raha tha.....Mike Tyson to star in a promotional music video for a Bollywood movie. Read it here.

Kismat

Mat Kar Itna Yakeen Haathon Ki Lakeeron Pe Ai Dost,
Ke Kismat Unki Bhi Hoti Hai Jinke Haath Nahin Hote.

Mutual Funds Demystified

With the Indian Economy booming, Mutual Funds have never had it so good in India. People are investing in them in droves. However, knowledge of the funds remains low. This series of articles here looks at them from a layman's perspective. Good for beginners!

Profound

A man who does not thank for little......will not thank for much.
- Estonian Proverb

Assorted Humour

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : No, because you make me sick.

He introduced himself as a criminal lawyer. I thanked him for being so honest.

Whoever said talk is cheap never hired a lawyer.

Old age is always 20 years older than you are.
- Chinese Proverb

Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything differently.

Great Answers from Science Exams

• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
• When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
• Clouds are high flying fogs.
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
• Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around and around. There is not much else to do.
• Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
• Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
• Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
• The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u.
• The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
• Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
• Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
• To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.

Of Driving

Last year, I had a lot of opportunity to drive down to Greater Noida from Noida. The newly constructed, 6-lane, expressway is aptly named. It does allow super speeds and is really a great way to commute. There are some pitfalls like some stray animals/cattle and the the danger of a pileup accident, like this winter when 14 vehicles rammed into one another due to heavy fog.

However, what I really enjoyed was not the speed one could achieve, but the luxuriant view that I had when I drove there. A commuter of modern cities does not get a chance to see a lot except buildings and a few trees here and there. But the expressway offers a scenic view at many places. One of reasons is that the expressway does not have crossings, and at places where the road does need a crossing, it has a sort of flyover. This creates a sinusoidal curve on the road and when on the crest, one gets fantastic views on both sides. One can see a huge thicket which is almost a jungle, 2 big rivers, endless fields, villages, city heights, roads big and small and of course the vast expanse of the azure sky. A treat certainly, and a lavish one at that.

The Second Coming?

Dear Diary,
Is this the Second Coming, and could I be the Son of God?
A few days ago, I bumped into an old acquaintance and he told me, "Jesus, I haven't seen you in years!" Then, yesterday I braked late at a red light and a pedestrian shouted at me, "Jesus Christ, watch what you're doing!"
Finally, this morning my boss walked into my cubicle and told me, "Christ, will you stop surfing the Net for sports news and do some work for a change?!?"

Are you of Neanderthal ancestry?

As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man. His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo sapiens. If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your ancestry, score yourself on this test:

1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five points.
3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
4. How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
9. Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed? Five points.
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? Give yourself ten points.
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points.

Scoring:

0-20 points:

You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.

20-40 points:

A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice.

40-60 points:

You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away.

60-80 points:

Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football.

80-100 points:

Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in human society. Try running for public office instead.

Beware.....Ug99 is here

As this report suggests, India is one of the foremost targets of the Wheat Rust. Let us hope things improve on this front ASAP.

Quotes from Einstein

• Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.
• Imagination is more important than knowledge.
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
• I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
• The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
• Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
• The only real valuable thing is intuition.
• A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
• I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.
• God is subtle but he is not malicious.
• Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
• I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
• The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.
• Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
• Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.
• Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
• Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
• Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
• Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
• The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
• The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
• God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
• The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.
• Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
• Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
• The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
• We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
• Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
• The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
• Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
• Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity.
• If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
• Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
• As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
• Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
• I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
• In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.
• The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
• Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
• Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!
• No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
• My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
• Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
• The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.
• Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
• The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science.
• He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
• A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
• The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.
• Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
• You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
• One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.
• One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought.
• He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.
• A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by
• widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
• Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton)

5 Jewish Men

Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western civilization.

Moses said the law is everything.
Jesus said love is everything.
Marx said capital is everything.
Freud said sex is everything.
Einstein said everything is relative.

Patience To Learn

A young man presented himself to the local expert on gems and said he wanted to become a gemologist. The expert brushed him off because he feared that the youth would not have the patience to learn. The young man pleaded for a chance. Finally the expert consented and told the youth, "Be here tomorrow."

The next morning the expert put a jade stone in the boy's hand and told him to hold it. The expert then went about his work, cutting, weighing, and setting gems. The boy sat quietly and waited.

The following morning the expert again placed the jade stone in the youth's hand and told him to hold it. On the third, fourth, and fifth day the expert repeated the exercise and the instructions.

On the sixth day the youth held the jade stone, but could no longer stand the silence. "Master," he asked, "when am I going to learn something?"

"You'll learn," the expert replied and went about his business.

Several more days went by and the youth's frustration mounted. One morning as the expert approached and beckoned for him to hold out his hand, he was about to blurt out that he could go on no longer. But as the master placed the stone in the youth's hand, the young man exclaimed with-out looking at his hand, "This is not the same jade stone!"

"You have begun to learn," said the master.

Moral: We have to be patient in life and wait for the best to turn up, and also we have to be a keen observer with a good presence of mind. Patience is the virtue towards achieving a cherishing life and its the most challenging one as well.