- Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points.
- Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five points.
- Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points.
- How about a forehead? If not, add another three points.
- Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points.
- Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points.
- Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points.
- Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope.
- Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under.
- If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference.
- Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
- Pigeon-toed? Five points.
- Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points.
- Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points.
- Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points.
- Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? Give yourself ten points.
- Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points.
- Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points.