Communication Gap

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce,and he asked her, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"Why, it is made of concrete, of course," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, as well as my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, frustrated and at the end of his rope, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. It's my husband who does. He says he can't communicate with me."

Inspiring - Volvo

An interesting reflection someone sent me -

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x number of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in other words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.

2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.

3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.

4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe named Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time.

As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....

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including the curtain rods.

Aaram Karo

This is a famous poem, that I read as a child...saw its link on Facebook today and was instantly transported to my childhood. Enjoy!

आराम करो

एक मित्र मिले, बोले, "लाला, तुम किस चक्की का खाते हो?
इस डेढ़ छँटाक के राशन में भी तोंद बढ़ाए जाते हो।
क्या रक्खा है माँस बढ़ाने में, मनहूस, अक्ल से काम करो।
संक्रान्ति-काल की बेला है, मर मिटो, जगत में नाम करो।"
हम बोले, "रहने दो लेक्चर, पुरुषों को मत बदनाम करो।
इस दौड़-धूप में क्या रक्खा, आराम करो, आराम करो।

आराम ज़िन्दगी की कुंजी, इससे न तपेदिक होती है।
आराम सुधा की एक बूंद, तन का दुबलापन खोती है।
आराम शब्द में 'राम' छिपा जो भव-बंधन को खोता है।
आराम शब्द का ज्ञाता तो विरला ही योगी होता है।
इसलिए तुम्हें समझाता हूँ, मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
ये जीवन, यौवन क्षणभंगुर, आराम करो, आराम करो।

यदि करना ही कुछ पड़ जाए तो अधिक न तुम उत्पात करो।
अपने घर में बैठे-बैठे बस लंबी-लंबी बात करो।
करने-धरने में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा बात बनाने में।
जो ओठ हिलाने में रस है, वह कभी न हाथ हिलाने में।
तुम मुझसे पूछो बतलाऊँ -- है मज़ा मूर्ख कहलाने में।
जीवन-जागृति में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा है सो जाने में।

मैं यही सोचकर पास अक्ल के, कम ही जाया करता हूँ।
जो बुद्धिमान जन होते हैं, उनसे कतराया करता हूँ।
दीए जलने के पहले ही घर में आ जाया करता हूँ।
जो मिलता है, खा लेता हूँ, चुपके सो जाया करता हूँ।
मेरी गीता में लिखा हुआ -- सच्चे योगी जो होते हैं,
वे कम-से-कम बारह घंटे तो बेफ़िक्री से सोते हैं।

अदवायन खिंची खाट में जो पड़ते ही आनंद आता है।
वह सात स्वर्ग, अपवर्ग, मोक्ष से भी ऊँचा उठ जाता है।
जब 'सुख की नींद' कढ़ा तकिया, इस सर के नीचे आता है,
तो सच कहता हूँ इस सर में, इंजन जैसा लग जाता है।
मैं मेल ट्रेन हो जाता हूँ, बुद्धि भी फक-फक करती है।
भावों का रश हो जाता है, कविता सब उमड़ी पड़ती है।

मैं औरों की तो नहीं, बात पहले अपनी ही लेता हूँ।
मैं पड़ा खाट पर बूटों को ऊँटों की उपमा देता हूँ।
मैं खटरागी हूँ मुझको तो खटिया में गीत फूटते हैं।
छत की कड़ियाँ गिनते-गिनते छंदों के बंध टूटते हैं।
मैं इसीलिए तो कहता हूँ मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
यह खाट बिछा लो आँगन में, लेटो, बैठो, आराम करो।

- गोपालप्रसाद व्यास

Fantastic Video

This is superb!

Punjab Airways

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri Akal.

We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we are knowing the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be landing d'rectly in your v'llage.

P'njaab Airways has exc'llant record for safety. In fact our safety
standards are so high that even the fully trained tarrists and hijackers are afraid to fly with us.

I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 20% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation. That is a 100% improvement over the last year.

For the rest 80%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Balwinder (Bubbly) Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies and other plans.

If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also.

For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once. In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.

We regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut.

But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie can be seen from the right side cabin windows. These windows have been opened for you to enjoy sound effects.

For your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. You can see the sarson fields and klownies while you travel.

If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment. Our trained hostesses Bubbly Kaur; Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!! Please give them enough room to dance in the walkway as they are big in size.

Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish, Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi..

There is a half charge for Red Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. **Charge is only 10% for country liquor served from Red Label Bottles. *

*Patiala** pegs will be served only on Patiala flights for genuine Patiala psaingers who can be easily identified by their special aroma by our trained air hostesses.

As per safety rules, smoking is not allowed on all P'njaab Airways flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines. Please make sure that pilot is awake when you go to inform him.

Please do read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in your front side. This will also be used as a hand fan. Please fold and keep it back for next psaingers before you alight. The P'ssainger behind you must read the card in your backside.

Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land.

Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off and landing.. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during take off and landing.

Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. Do not call for steward or airhostess for a glass of water when plane is taking off.

We are about to take-off. We wish you a pleasant flight. For air sikness problems we have echo friendly jute bags in the sit pokets. Please take the used bags with you and throw in the kachra bin kept outside the airport for your convenience.

Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways. We hope you will go where you wanted to go.

Amazing photos of the volcanic eruption in Iceland

Have a look at the Eyjafjallajokull eruption here...

Old Sher

An old sher that I was reminded of today...


चंद जले आशार, कुछ हसीनाओ के खतो-खुतूत,

बाद मेरे मरने के, सामां यह मेरे घर से निकला ...

Ooof....too much dard!

True Teachers

True teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create their own.

-Nikos Kazantzakis, poet and novelist (1883-1957)

Bhagwad Gita and Junk Mails

Bhagwad Gita -Lord Krishna's explanation of Junk Mails !

Krishna: Arjun , Try to respect the e-mails of your elders ..

Arjun: But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honorable elders who are logged on to honorable domains?

Krishna:  Paartha,  at this moment they neither are your friends nor your foes. They are mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.

Arjun: Murari ! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from Software

Industry itself...

Krishna:  Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this material world you have none and you are committed to none. Junk mails have existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep sending junk mails.

Arjun:  but Devaki Nandan...........!

Krishna:  Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your Guru Dronacharya.

Arjun: Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the ' system ' ?

Krishna:  Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard disk....but you are not supposed to worry  about it. Listen Kunti putra, the way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these junk mails move from system to system.

Arjun:  How can one define junk mail?

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be conquered nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.

Arjun: Hey Narayan ! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear.You have opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost myself in Maaya and read all the junk mails myself.

........ MAHAAABHAAAAARAT .............

Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons have cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain  So, go on, contribute something to the history by hitting that forward button yet again to send this junk mail to all!!

A brief history(??) of India

A BRIEF BUT Complete History of India : As written by a Std X schoolboy, with all the original spellings. Please pay special attention to the spellings and the "derived" nomenclature. If you don't know all this -- you are history!!!

The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.

The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted toproduce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. it can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.

Quotes!

Credulity is belief in slight evidence, with no evidence, or against evidence.
- Tryon Edwards

The credulity of dupes is as inexhaustible as the invention of knaves."
- Edmund Burke

Did you hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
- Anonymous

There is no sin except stupidity.
- Oscar Wilde

Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
-Anonymous

Om Prakash Aditya

I am a great fan of Om Prakash Aditya. He was a great hindi poet and satirist. A master of laughter in the pre-cable days, he commanded great admiration at DD on the regularly broadcast "Hasya Kavi Sammelan".

Remembering him I got to know that he passed away some six months ago in an accident! May God rest his soul in peace.

Some lines from a poem of his...it is the lamentation of a student about the vast course syllabus.

नास हो इतिहास का, सन के समंदर बह गए,
मर गए वो लोग, रोने के लिए हम रह गए,
बाबर, हुमायूँ, शाहजहाँ, और अकबर आप था,
कौन न जाने किसका बेटा, कौन किसका बाप था!

ज़िन्दगी भर लिख न पाया मैं चेकोस्लोवाकिया

अंक के  अतिरिक्त  मुझको  और  कुछ  भाता  नहीं,

क्या  करूँ लेकिन  गुणा करना  मुझे  आता  नहीं,

अकल अल-जब्रा  हमारी  जाएगी  जड़  से  पचा,

तीन  मैं  से  छह गए  और  क्या  बाकी  बचा?

भुगूल  में  गत  वर्ष  आया  गोल  है  कैसे  धरा,

और  मैंने  एक  पल  मैं  लिख  दिया  उत्तर  खरा,

गोल  है  पूरी  कचोरी, और पापड़  गोल  है, 

गोल  है  लड्डू, जलेबी, रसगुल्ला भी  गोल  है,

गोलगप्पा  गोल  है  मुंह  भी  हमारा  गोल  है  

इस  लिए  हे मास्टरजी  यह  धरा  भी  गोल  है.

Childhood fantasies

Some things never die. When we were young, there used to be this popular belief amongst us kids that one could make an eraser from pencil shavings. My brother and I were serious subscribers to this strange alchemy experiment. Once our mother got us a new box of pencils (yipee!) and we dutifully sharpened it away  completely to gather the wooden shavings. The scolding was unbelievable!

I had forgotten all about my belief in this Indian Alchemy till recently. My brother has told me that his son and daughter are the latest proponents of this idea. When the son was quizzed (he is elder) as to where did he get to learn such nonsense, he replied, "मेरे दोस्त ने स्कूल में बताया था!"

I think this is a kind of rumour that gets handed down from one generation to the next! If you have any rumours of your to share, please do comment.

Chappal Saathi

Sometimes, we use a thing due to habit, it becomes second nature. We are dependent on it for our comfort. If we are away from it, a strange emptiness nags at the back of the mind. It is difficult to wean oneself away from such habits.

Happened with me in the case of a pair of slippers. I purchased this leather pair from a shop near my home. It was super comfy and I was hooked. Alas it did not last forever and was in tatters some 2 years later (What else do you expect from footwear that I would have worn to bed, had not my wife given me that look). I went to the same shop for another pair but he told me that it was not available any longer! I refused to part with my old pair and continued to wear it, despite my wife's remonstrations and threats.

I was in a mall one day and saw someone else wearing the same pair. My heart jumped for secret joy! Gathering courage, I went up to the chap and asked him very sheepishly about where he got that pair. The chap gave me the biggest of the smiles and mentioned the same shop I had purchased them from. When I recounted my failed mission to purchase another pair from that shop, he responded, "यार बात तो है इस चप्पल में...मैं भी ढूंढ रहा हूँ! मिले तो बताना!" When I told my wife about my "Encounter with the Stranger in the Mall", she burst out laughing and said, "वो आपका चप्पल साथी हुआ!"

I am still searching. I found a comparable pair and was compelled to throw my old pair, but alas, the new ones don't match it so far.

Sajan Re Jhooth Mat Bolo

The simple lyrics, the deeply meaningful words, the gentle sway of the folk music and the amazing cinematography of this song make it one of my favourites!

Facebook

Oh when I sneeze

I want the world to know

And in Facebook I’ve found

The means make it so

When I scratch my face

My friends must be informed

Privacy has lost the war

Another bastion stormed

When I wipe my butt

And the paper is 2-ply

Everyone must learn

What, when and why

When the weather is sunny

The word must go out

And when it is cloudy

My Facebook must shout

When the kids are naughty

I must share my woe

And when they are nice

The world must surely know

My life’s an open (Face)book

Though nothing’s worth a read

But everyone knows my moods

Everyone knows my needs

And of course, I can ‘like’

And I can ‘nudge’ and ‘poke’

It gives me a definite high

Much higher than coke

I am constantly in touch

With people far and wide

All hear every word

All hear every aside

So, keep on writing, folk

I need my fix for sure

I am now picking my nose

Thought you'd like to know

– Kishore Asthana

How to catch a Lion

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you..

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method:

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:

Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching!

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders

More quotations

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.

~John Junor~

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.

~Robert A. Humphrey~

Annual income twenty pounds,

annual expenditure nineteen point six,

result happiness.

~Charles Dickens (1812-1870)~

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.

~Dale Carnegie~

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

~Rose Franken~

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

~Proverbs 23:7~

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

~Bob Inglis~

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.

~Bette Davis~

Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words:

" I do not know."

~Andre Maurois~

Constant dripping hollows out a stone.

~Lucretius~

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

~Anonymous~

Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.

~Thomas Szasz~

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

~Kin Hubbard~

Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.

~Samuel Paterson~

Count your blessings, they are more than you think, and more than you are told.

~MountainWings~

Why do we shout when we are angry!

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

The disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.