Some nice ones I came across :-)

An English professor announced to the class; "There are
two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and
the other is cool."
From the back of the room a voice called out, "Yeah? So,
what are the words?"

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A man complained, "Doc, I've been to three other clinics
and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy,
then they'll see that I was right."

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Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put
in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal.
--Steven Wright