Tuesday, November 22, 2005

CAT and the after shocks

Ek aur CAT aaya aur aakar chala gaya. Peeche apne dhul bhara samaa chhodh gaya.

Massacre for anyone with a mindset! I have always believed that CAT is a paper of mental aptitude more than it is a paper of QA, DI or English. In my opinion, CAT tests a student's ability to take pressure, face tough situations, not lose control over one's senses, not suffer from mindsets and pre-conceived notions, not going into any situation with a preset thought, not worrying about huge problems on all areas. It also tests a candidate's ability to allocate limited and precious resources (time) over a large number of opportunities (questions) so as to achieve the maximum profit (marks).

DI out of the window. Reasoning in dollops. (This was one scenario we had predicted in workshops and counselings this year and I believe a lot of guys studied reasoning because of this!!)
QA was damn tough, especially the two markers.
RC considerably lesser, but murderous! Grammar was very tough. Critical reasoning was tough. Other VA was still easier, but not easy.

Other institutes are predicting unrealistic cutoffs. Paper karke dekho to pata chale, how difficult it is to get marks in the paper during that time. Sitting in a/c offices later and solving without time pressure, I can also get all the marks. Point is what can one do in limited time. T.I.M.E. has given vey realistic cutoffs, which will bring hope to students. I really detest institutes that are predicting cutoffs of 60 for a single call. They are the ones that are driving students to the brink of committing suicide. Oh, how I wish, IIMs would do something about releasing the keys/solutions along with or just after the paper and releasing the cutoffs openly ASAP. That will at least drive the pressure down.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Things I Hate or Hated

  1. Dangling hoods behind jackets - I can't begin to recall the horrible looking dangling hoods. Jackets were a rage when I was growing up, but I always hated that begging bowl dangling behind people's necks. It was as if you had a permanent begging appendage, open for donations, whether u were walking or sitting or standing. It collected dirt, dust, leaves and of course, people's comments. People could not care less, but to me it looked like an extra head, just that it was scooped out. And the strings looked like matted hair dangling from the skull.

    Today's detachable hoods are more graceful. They are useful, and not a fashion faux pas.


  2. Baggy pants/jeans - Baggies were in fashion around 1988-1995. I have been guilty of buying at least one jeans that was a baggy (baggy? it was a bag!). Thankfully, I was not guilty of wearing it too often, so I can live in peace with the knowledge that I did not torture the world with a clownish appearance. Baggies came in fashion from Salman Khan (I think) or Govinda (more likely). I remember people wearing baggies that hung in front of their bodies like huge shaadi tents. What were people thinking making those clothes? I think it was engineered by the cloth manufacturers to encourage sale of more cloth. Each pant required 30-50 percent extra cloth to be made. Horrible, that is the word! The clothes, not the marketing strategy. That was wonderful ;-)

Pragati Maidan and Traffic

Pragati Maidan is a major bottleneck for traffic. If one lives in Noida (where I live) and wants to goto Central or West Delhi then Pragati Maidan is invariably part of your way and you live to regret the day this road was made; The Roadtrip to Hell. The situation is so bad sometimes that people have renamed it from Pragati Maidan to Durgati Maidan!!

The situation worsens considerably every year from 14th Nov to 28th Nov. when Pragati Maidan hosts the India International Trade Fair (IITF). Miles long traffic jams are a common sight, and that is not a pretty sight. The situation worsened so much last to last year that it was virtually impossible to cross the area during peak hours.

The traffic police woke up last year with a new metallic overhead bridge, better traffic management and better pedestrian management. And this year they have excelled beyond themselves. The traffic this year is much better. So much better that it is a pleasure to drive from there! There are various reasons to this;

1. Far better traffic management - Policemen every 10 meters to push forward any stationery vehicle. No stoppage means better movement
2. Heavy barricading so that pedestrians do not spill on to the roads
3. Overbridge to help pedestrians cross peacefully
4. Lots of parking areas that are located around the area than being concentrated in a single area.
5. Good shuttle services from parking areas.
6. No U-turn anywhere
7. Large ads in all newspapers to show all these arrangements.

But the biggest reason is that there is so much hullabaloo about the trade fair traffic situation that people voluntarily keep away from the area for the fear of traffic jams. I personally avoided the area on the first day of the IITF. But the other roads were so jam packed, it took me 45 minutes to cross 1.5 kms. But because everyone is keeping away from Pragati Maidan, that is actually a better place to go from!!! No traffic jams and no problems.

So in peak season, Pragati Maidan is my favourite route!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hmm...

Mentioned in a student's blog. Have a look at Nitika's blog.

Madan Prahar

Madan Prahar - interesting name, isn't it?

Madan is a name for Kamdeva, the God of love in Hindu Mythology. Prahar is a strike, a blow. So technically Madan Prahar means a blow by Kamdeva, in other words, Cupid's arrow strikes!

I use it for someone I know, who thinks he is a gift to women, whereas the case is actually the opposite.

So, it is a derogatory reference to someone who thinks highly of his charms ;-)

What happened here?

A chance look through my blog's stats showed something interesting - I checked out a referring link and it turned out that I was being linked to by another blog!

Have a look at India Daily which is a roundup of Indian blogs.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Should India hang Abu Salem or not?

Everyone in India is excited about the extradition of Abu Salem and wants to hang him for his involvement in the Bombay Bomb Blasts.

Wait!

Before I go further, let me say that I fully support hanging him for his involvement in the crimes.

But, let's do a bit of future gazing, also called scenario analysis.

If we hang him, how likely is Portugal (or for that matter European Union(EU)), to hand over any more terrorists to us? They will refuse to hand over any more terrorists and thus become safe haven for terrorists who will committ crimes and run to Europe, knowing fully well that even if they are caught, EU will not hand over them to India.

So the choice is clear. We can hang one Abu Salem and be done with it. Or we can sentence him to 25 years in prison and make some strong friends in the EU to help us in the war against terrorism.

And with 25 years in prison, hard labour and India's poor record on Human Rights in prisons, who knows what can happen to him!

The official website of India

Have a look at the Government of India's website here.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Songs uploaded by me

Have a look at some songs that I have uploaded.

http://www.coolgoose.com/go/music?user=ankurjain&go=1

Any requests for old or new songs may be sent to mail2ankur AT gmail DOT com - I specialise in Hindi film music (right from 1930s to 2005)

Monday, October 31, 2005

New Car

A neighbour near my house has recently bought a new car. A black Alto. And it is a treat to watch him handle it!

He is very careful with the car. Everytime he parks it he has to make sure that the distance between the front bumper of his car and the rear bumber of the car in front is the identical to the nearest millimeter to the distance between the rear bumper of his car and the front bumper of the car that is behind his car. The car is parked satisfactorily after many twists and turns and careful scrutiny of the distances!

He is a fair novice so when he parallal parks, or is reversing, his daughter is there to help him park it. His mother stands in the balcony to supervise the whole spectacle. His father gives instructions from the balcony, and makes sure the mother is supervising properly. His wife is somewhere hovering in the background trying to make sure that the daughter is not getting mowed down by his maniac-of-a-husband.

He has got the loudest "backing up" notification. When he reverses, the whole street comes to know that something is happening to the car.

After every drive (lasting 300 meters and 3 minutes) the car is inspected from all angles, the oil level, battery water level, water level, coolant level are checked to make sure that things are all right and no one has tampered with the settings of the various solids and liquids that make up the car.

The car is carefully washed twice a day, once early morning and once early evening. It shines more than a solitaire diamond! Every speck of dust is carefully shooed away, lest it disturb "Her Royal and Serene Highness"!

The manual is read everytime the owner wants to start the car to understand and memorise the sequence properly. Gear-Clutch-Key-Steering - no! no! - Key-Steering-Clutch-Gear - that is right!

Ah! The joys of a new car - may you be blessed with one too!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Joys of reading Dan Brown

Just reading Digital Fortress and came across this line: "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" It is a Latin phrase, which means "Who will guard the guards?" - A common problem in Indian society, where the police seems to be committing more crimes than preventing.
Anyhow, the point is one can count on Dan Brown to bring in something like this, insightful, incisive and poignant!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
- George Carlin

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
I think, this sums up what I said earlier about TV shows that never seem to end!

The whole reason you watch a TV show is because it ends. If I wanted a long, boring story with no point to it, I've got my life.
- Jerry Seinfeld

Random Quotes

Some random quotes I recently picked up:

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
- Samuel Butler

Happiness does not ignore problems and handicaps, but enjoys provocative points of view about them. A problem is a goal that has manifested in your life, except you don't remember asking for it. A handicap is simply an asset you haven't figured out how to use yet.
- Roberta Jean Bryant

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
- Alexander Graham Bell

Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing.
- Anonymous

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt

While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered. Our purpose is something we have been doing all along, and will continue to do, regardless of circumstances, until the day we die.
- Peter McWilliams
Doctors!

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital,
the Allergists voted to scratch it;
the Dermatologists advised no rash moves;
the Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it;
the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve;
the Obstetricians stated they were all laboring under a misconception.
the Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted;
the Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!";
the Pediatricians said, "Grow up!;
the Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness.
the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing;
the Radiologists could see right through it!;
the Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow;
the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter".
the Podiatrists thought it was a step forward;
the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water;
the Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas;
and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, however, it was the Proctologists who were chosen to decide. And wouldn't you know it? They left the decision up to some a**!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it."
"But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it."
"This is my position, and I will not compromise!"

People Types You are Likely to Run in at a Party

Went to a party recently, a muhurat, a religious ceremony for a new house plus a house warming party. Once the religious ceremonies were over, the party mood took over. I saw a few people at the party, the types you are likely to run into at an Indian party. I will attempt to describe some of the common species of party animals.

The Middle Aged Uncleji - Around 40-50 years of age and fails to recognise that life has caught up with him. Knows everyone at the party, and if he doesn't, shows that he knows by talking in a boisterous manner to the person in question, trying to show off all his contacts and trying to find some common link, so that everyone around is impressed by his range of contacts and the deep relationships he has with everyone he names. Of course, fails to impress anyone. Has a fresh stain of sauce on his shirt, but fails to see it, as he is too busy impressing others. Hails all waiters that are passing by with the refreshments and snacks, and makes sure that he enjoys more than the value of the gift he has given, with the snacks alone; let alone the food. As a result, has the largest pot-belly around. Thus, occupies more than 66.66% of the dance floor, and is least bothered that other people's bodies are getting crushed. Dances with bad steps and a sort of epileptic fit combined with mosquito-swatting action. Requests all the bad numbers to be played again and again. When his favorite song is stopped suddenly, is the largest to groan with an abuse or two thrown in towards the DJ for good measure. Favorite dance numbers include Nagin dance, with a handkerchief as the been, and any gyrations on any Punjabi song, especially those sung by by Gurdas Mann or Hansraj Hans. Thinks he is Amitabh Bacchan and loves to dance with a borrowed dupatta.

The Middle Aged Auntieji - Typically is the wife of the Uncleji mentioned above. Garish makeup and equally garish jewellery makes sure that she along with her massive frame, is the star attraction of the party; the centerpiece of the party, so to speak. Loves to gossip (who doesn't) but her speciality is gossip of the moment, e.g. which woman is eating the most snacks and who had a tiff with the hostess, just now. Keeps sitting on a large chair near the DJ floor, and has a large group of boys, men, girls and women coming to her and "Pairi Pauna" her at regular intervals, before they go up to dance on the floor. Seems like she is the Guru Hanuman and they are the Shishyas and Shishyaas who are about to enter the Akhara. Is the fastest match-maker in the room, with a world-record time of 4 minutes and 39 seconds. It is another matter that the matches she makes last even lesser! Typically frowns at her husband, the aforementioned species, for dancing badly, borrowing dupattas and generally making an ass of himself in front of everyone.

The Prodigal Son a.k.a. Puttarji - Progeny of Uncleji and Auntieji. Belongs to 15-25 age group (of course) and his life is a mess. He knows it, his parents know it, trouble is they are unwilling to admit it. Of course, they want to improve it, but as I said, they are unwilling to openly admit it. So, when uncleji and auntieji find time from their busy schedule, they will discuss the problems of their son loudly with anyone and everyone within earshot. Depending on the age of the son, the problems change and so does the conversation.

a. 16-17 - Admission in some good college - "Hum to foreign bhejne ki soch rahe hain, yahan to padhai bilkul bekar hai" - Ends up in some seedy college in Guatemala (political science), Checheya (medicine), Guangzhong (medicine again), Nigeria (economics and business management) or best of all Siberia (human rights).

b. 20-22 - Job - "Main to kal hee minister sahab se baat kar ke lagwaa doon, par favour nahin lena chahta. Phir election ke time yehi log bahut dukhi karte hain." "Aap ke bade bhaisahab ka toh apna kaam hai, dekh lein jara, waise mere ladke ko koi kami nahin hai. Aaj business shuru karwa doon import-export ka, lekin soch raha tha thoda experience gain kar le pehle!" Import-export! The guy doesn't know Pakistan from Bangladesh!

c. 23-24 - Job Change - "Waise to teen managers isse report kar rahein hain, lekin yeh chaah raha tha ki office thoda ghar ke paas ho, travelling mein bahut time waste hota hai". It is of course another matter that the boy doesn't know the difference between a quotation and price list!

c. 25 - Marriage - "Aajkal achhi ladkiyan milti kahan hain. Shaadi se pehle 5 boyfriend aur shaadi ke baad 10. Na baba!" "Aap ke pados main to koi ho to mujhe jaroor batana." "Mera ladka laakhon mein ek hai!" Yes, absolutely right, it is difficult to find a more stupid guy in at least one million (dus lakh).

The "Sophisticated" - Generally a group of women, somewhat younger than the Auntieji mentioned above. Typical numbers range from 2-5. You will never find one alone, they always manage to make a group. Love to criticise; the ambience - "such middle class arrangements!"; the host/hostess - "when i give a party, lunch is never late!"; the snacks - "pakore garam nahin hain!", "sauce teekhi nahin hai!"; music - "yeh DJ bilkul bekar hai!"; uncleji - "he is such a boor!"; auntieji - "she is such a showoff!"; other not-so-sophisticated types - "did you see her saree? did u see her purse? how boring!" "behenjee lagti hai, nahin?" etc. Their only saving grace are their perfumes, but most turn this into a negative by bathing in them and managing to leave a stink. Secretly discuss low-fat recipies, latest TV soaps and bargain hunting in Karol Bagh and Lajpat Nagar.

The Downtrodden - The anti-thesis to "The Sophisticated Group". Not well-to-do and therefore feels out of place in the party. Tries to hide behind other people. Looks with wonder at the small joys of like like Air-Conditioning. Hopes no one opens the Shagun envelope in their presence.

The TV/Movie Lover - Can be a man or a woman, depending on your luck, but the widest geographical distribution is of the former. Will corner anyone and discuss all that he has seen, not seen, planning to see, planning not to see, what to avoid, what not to avoid etc. Is least bothered whether the other person is listening or not, has a TV or not, has money to watch movies or not, or is alive or has dropped dead. Provides critical comments and detailed comparison and contrasts between SRK and AB. Rarely do they not add, "I can do it better than them." Trouble erupts when his favourite movie star is not from your mother tounge, like discussing Rajnikanth movies in North Indian parties, since he insists on mouthing all the dialogues from his latest hit, e.g. Baba.

Cricket Lover - Close cousin of the "The TV/Movie Lover". Shares all characteristics with him, but this one is generally equally distributed between boys and men. If he is a boy then you can easily shake him off by sending him on an errand and then vanishing from the scene. If he is a man, then it is difficult to shake him off. You can try your luck by asking him to show the runup of Akram, McGrath, Pathan or any other fast bowler. That ensures that he goes away a considerable distance. You SHOULD seize this opportunity to leave the scene immediately.
Trouble has increased on this front recently. With Sourav's ouster as the captain, he is likely to either vehemently oppose or support the decision. Neutrality is passé and you are in trouble. If you oppose Sourav's ouster you will be immediately branded as a disloyal Indian who doesn't want to win the world cup 2007; and if you perchance support his ouster then you are a disloyal Indian who stabs an old-hand in the back. As someone said "Damned if you do and damned if you don't." Or as we might say in Hindi "Chit main jeeta pat tu haara, aur sikka to hai hee mere baap ka" (Heads I win, tails you lose and in any case the coin belongs to my father.)

Silent and Brooding - Definitely male. Stands in a corner, with a drink in hand. Watches with uninterest everything around. Used to dress in grey, black or other dark colours. Now can be found in these and earthen colors like olive green, mustard etc. Has tried to committ suicide at least once or has definite plans for the same in the next 24 hours. Shakes his head at least once every five minutes and with a disgusted look on his face mutters to himself something like "these people". Bête noires include children, happy people, couples, anyone indulging in any conversation and chirpy girls. Hates parties, but hangs around for the free booze.

Dipsomaniac a.k.a. Bewdaa - The name speaks for itself. Stands really close to the bar. Mostly gets a chair and places it there to remove the hassle of getting up and getting a refill. Knows the barman from previous parties (same or other places) and gets special treatment since he remembers the barman's name. Does not favour any soda or water with his favourite poison; only on the rocks. That way alcohol consumption per minute is higher. Generally an ex-"silent and brooding", but then discovered the joys of drinking. Favours old tastes like VAT69 Rum and Whisky. Does not go for fancy stuff like beer. Occasionally seen to drink Tequilla and Vodka, especially when trying to impress anyone from "The "Sophisticated" Group".

Busy - Almost always a man. Businessman or a bigshot in the corporate sector. Carries a cell-phone, a PDA, a laptop and other assorted gizmos in his various pockets. When enters a room, first looks for the nearest power source to charge his various gadgets, then searches for someone to talk to and something to eat/drink. Has something or the other beeping every nanosecond or so and manages to run his office from the party. If he talks loudly on his cellphone, then he is on his way to becoming "uncleji". If walks out of the room to talk on the phone, then there is still hope! Loves to talk about his latest car, latest girlfriend (whether he is married or not, does not matter), latest takeover, latest promotion and latest everything. Therefore, also known as a bore.

Netaji - Local politician of little or no importance. Highly self-important. Has an entourage of a driver and a hired private security guard, all of which fit in an old beat-up Ambassador/Maruti 800/Omni Van. The guard is hired since the police does not share the threat perception as understood by Netaji and therefore does not provide any police protection to him. The guard looks margilla (weakling) and does not look capable of defending himself against a strong gust of wind, let alone protect Netaji from terrorists. Netaji can be found wearing Khadi, but there is a new trend these days. Silk. In that case, Netaji is rich businessman with political ambitions, has a Honda City, Lancer Accent, or any of the SUVs and talks in the best of the mobiles. In both cases, he is a wannabe but never a guy with true potential.

Yours Truly - Has no job except type out long and purposeless lists of people who can be found at a party.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Hmm..
Nice ad in Hindi by Mastercard
"Natkhat Saiyan, Dusman Duniya"
really catchy music!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Have been thinking of more serials/ads etc from the DD of yore.

1. Udaan was amazing - compared to the current crop of women-career theme, Udaan was actually a career serial. These days we have "Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin" and "Yeh Meri Life Hai" which start out promisingly, but fizzle out after 3-4 months and we are left with the same old scheming mother-in-law, the machinations of evil relatives, muhawaawaa villains and a degenerate story line. How I wish there were more serials like Udaan. Kavita Singh suited the role to the hilt.

Probably the best thing about the serials of those days was the fact that they had a fixed time-span. Thus, the directors made them with a taut story line, tight direction, minimal wasted-time in elaborate religious festivals, family functions, social melodrama and rona-dhona. Todays serials have a carte blanche, make-it-as-long-as-you-can, so they end up being more as ads for the latest fashion than a real stroy line.

I think the best comparison can be with a not-so-recent Star Plus hit - "Star Bestseller". A serial with the mandate to show the story in a single hour. So, no superfluous dialogues, no long triple-shots-of-the-same scene-from-the-same-angle. Just a good story, isn't that what we want!

2. It wasn't that DD was all good only. There was a bad serial with poor characterisation and poor direction called "PC 1008" - Kanwaljit played a Police Constable with a penchant for a line "Main Har Baar Sahi Wakt Pe Sahi Jagah Pahunch Jaata Hoon". A really bad detective serial, if there was ever made one. I fail to understand what was the need to add 1008 in the end of the PC?

3. Talking about good detective serials, one of the better ones was called "Tehkikat" which had Vijay Anand (hero from the movie Kora Kaagaz) as the detective and Saurabh Shukla (Kallu Mama from Satya) as his sidekick. Very nice direction and a fairly lovable serial.

4. There was an excellent real life crime series called "Police File Se" - That had a bit of narration of the crime, a fairly subdued re-enactment of the crime and an overall aura of a serious and not-loud serial. Unlike today's crime series which are too sensationalistic for my liking, this was good. A better serial today of a similar genre is "CID" on Sony.

5. A lovable serial called "Mriganayani" with Pallavi Joshi in lead. A good opening credit songs which has a line "Mahachatur Mrignanayani". It had some nice dialogues! I still remember one "Char Din Baad, Puno Ki Raat, Panchayat Baithigi, ???? Ahir or ????? ???? Ka Faisla Hoga". The ???? represent words that I have forgotten.

6. A good serial called Maila Anchal. Based on a story by Phanishwarnath "Renu". Forgotten most of it, except that it was good! Another good one was "Raag Darbari".

7. There was Nutan in a serial called "Mujrim Hazir" - "Kaliganj Ki Bahu" and the haunting sounds of the Kahaars "Hun Huna Re Hun Huna, Hun Huna Re Hun Huna"

8. You might enjoy this link about Mangal Dhillon. An old actor from those days, with a permanently constipated look :-D

9. A great serial was Chunauti - a favourite when we were growing up. Another great serial was Neev. Am I confusing these two with each other?

10. I really liked Tamas. Om Puri with his intense acting was great. Deepa Sahi, Bheeshm Sahni, Deena Pathak, Devkinandan Pandey were amazing. Hats off to Govind Nihlani for that amazing social docu-drama!

11. There was quiz time with Siddartha Basu. And Alpha Plus - a nice quiz plus running on a track to prove your physical worth! Then there was another Sunday morning which I never understood - Money Matters. Fairly boring.

12. There was a nice morning comedy called "Dhamaal" featuring film stars like Satish Shah, Anil Kapoor and Sudesh Bhonsle. A particular episode that I remember was about "Eeto" :) I used to go late to school so that I could catch on my Dhamaal dose!

13. Another cool one was "Mr. Mrs." with Jayant Kriplani. The plot was really nice with a couple who come to Bombay. They decide that the one who gets a job first would work and the other would take care of the home. As events turn out, it is the wife that gets the job and Jayant Kriplani has to look after the home, which leads to all sorts of interesting incidents like his attending kittie parties etc.

14. Ados-Pados was another nice serial. I particularly remember an episode where Ashok Kumar, a doctor tells some people about "Chromosomes" and the people who can't understand it, think it is some "mausam" :)
Then there was a nice episode about a family having some money and their buying a lot of the same cloth for everything, right from the children's shirts, shorts, to sofa covers, curtains, papa's clothes, mummy's clothes everything was made from the same cloth. I still remember it was a kind of floral print with straight lines!!
In that episode, the children go on a hunger-strike against this frugality policy of their parents. In the end, the children can no longer control their hunger when the mother cooks up something really good. So they break their strike and come to eat. On being quizzed by their parents as to the status of the strike, they tell them about a representative (pratinidhi), I think a newspaper, that is now on strike on their behalf. This started a trend of "pratinidhi" in our house, with my brother and I, both keeping such representatives on our prime seats in front of the TV, to save them, when we got up during the TV watching sessions ! A trend that continued for nearly 10 years before we stopped doing it. How much influence a serial can have :)

15. Wagle Ki Duniya was good. A nice serial. A better one was "Aa Bail Mujhe Maar". The title line was "Yeh Sach Hai Mere Yaar, Satrangi Sab Sansaar, Ho Samajhdar to Bach Bach Nikle, Nadan Kahe Pukaar, Aa Bail Mujhe Maar"!

16. There was a serial that was about superstitions like cat crossing your path, not strewing cut nails in the house etc. It had Bablu Mukherjee, Sulbha Deshpande and Arvind Deshpande. A fairly good one.

17. A great laugh riot was Ghar Jamai. Satish Shah and Anant Mahadevan had some great moments in that serial. It was later revived with Satish Shah and Madhav.

18. Kakkaji Kehin was amazing! Om Puri mesmerised with his great comic timing.

19. Another great with Om Puri with Yatra, where he travels in a train. A great travelouge.

20. Show Theme - Just remember the name. What it was, difficult to say!

21. Raj Se Swaraj.

22. Who can forget "Bharat Ek Khoj" with Roshan Seth as the anchor and some amazing work by all the actors. One of my all time favourites.

You can download the title song here

Here are the lyrics for the title song, and its English Version for anyone who can't read Hindi.

*****Hindi Version**********
Srishtee se pehle sat nahin thaa, asat bhi nahin
Antariksh bhi nahin, akash bhin nahin thaa
chhipaa thaa kyaa kahaan, kisne dhakaa thaa
us pal to agam, atal jal bhi kahaan thaa

Srishtee kaa kaun hai kartaa
Kartaa hai vaa akartaa
Oonche aakash mein rahtaa
Sada adhyaksh banaa rahtaa
Wahin sachmuch mein jaantaa..Yaa nahin bhi jaanataa
Hai kisi ko nahin pataa, nahin pataa,
Nahin hai pataa, nahin hai pataa

Weh tha hiranyagarbh srishti se pehle vidyamaan
Wahi to saare bhoot jaat ka swami mahaan
jo hai astitvamaana dharti aasmaan dhaaran kar
Aise kis devta ki upasana karein hum avi dekar

Jis ke bal par tejomay hai ambar
Prithvi hari bhari sthapit sthir
Swarg aur sooraj bhi sthir
Aise kis devta ki upasana karein hum avi dekar

Garbh mein apne agni dhaaran kar paida kar
Vyapa tha jal idhar udhar neeche upar
Jagaa chuke vo ka ekameva pran bankar
Aise kis devta ki upasana karein hum avi dekar

Om ! Srishti nirmata swarg rachiyata purvaj raksha kar
Satya dharma palak atul jal niyamak raksha kar
Phaili hain dishayen bahu jaisi uski sab mein sab par
Aise hi devta ki upasana kare hum avi dekar
Aise hi devta ki upasana kare hum avi dekar
****English Version*********
In the beginning was the Divinity in his splendour,
manifested as the sole Lord of land, skies, water, space and that beneath
and he upheld the earth and the heavens.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

It is he who bestows soul-fource and vigour, whose guidence all men invoke,
the Devas invoke whose shadow is immortal life-and death.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

It is he who by his greatness became the one King of the breathing and the seeing,
who is the Lord of man and bird and beast.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

It is the through whose glory the snow-clad mountains rose,
and the ocean spread with the rivery, they say.
His arms are the quarters of the sky.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

It is he through whom the heaven is strong and the earth firm,
who has steadied the light and the sky's vault,
and measured out the sphere of clouds in the mid-region.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

It is he to whom heaven and earth, placed in the light by his grace, look up,
radiant with the mind while over them the sum, rising, brightly shines.
Who is the Deity we shall worship our offerings?

When the mighty waters came, carrying the universal germ, producing the flame of life,
then dwelt there in harmony the One Spirit of the Devas.
Who is the Diety we shall worship with our offerings?

It is he who in his might surveyed the waters, conferring skill and creating worhip
he, the God of Gods, the One and only One.
Who is the Deity we shall worship with our offerings?

Father of the world - may he not destoy us who with Truth as his Law made the
heavens and produced waters, vast and beautiful
Who is the Diety we shall worship with our offerings?

Lord of creation ! no one other than thee pervades all these that have come into being.
May that be ours, for which our prayers rise, may we be masters of many treasures!
*******end******

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

My favourite programs from Doordarshan

A post after lots of rememberances and thoughts!

1. Didi's Comedy Show - "Dieter Hallervorden" was great - I wish someone were to rerun those great episodes of nonstop nonsense which were a great gift from German TV. He didn't speak any language in many parts of the the show and it was easy to see the universal language of humour. Other parts, the dubbing was so nice, that we as children could understand every part of the dialogue. My favorite ones include wallpaper episode, thievery in the next apartment, and a small skit called "Bamberga" etc :) . And to think, that it was shown on TV nearly 15-20 years ago.

2. Telematch - Another German serial that showed ludicrous costumes on ridiculous people. I loved it and would miss my studies to see it. Picked up some elementary German from it, something that sounded like "eich, diech, triech" (One, two, three). In retrospective, that was cool propoganda, showing how happy people were under communist rule. Something like the Soviet Magazines (Misha) and books (Raduga publications, Mir Publications) that made life in USSR look like heaven. From the time when I was 4-5, till about 1989, when I was 14, and the Berlin wall fell (The World This Week showed close coverage), I wanted nothing more than to goto the lovely Soviet land with dreamy-eyed visions of the great land which I saw in books.

3. I enjoyed the economics capsules that were made by Transtel (German Television). They taught me a lot about how cartoons can help me understand a topic that I had not studied in school till that time!

4. Kacchi Dhoop - nice serial with a beautiful storyline. I believe I was sufficiently sophisticated to appreciate good work by Amol Palekar, as far back as 1986! Of course, Bhagyashree made her debut in that serial and later on went on to star in the all-time hit "Maine Pyar Kiya"

5. Johnny Sokko and the Giant Robot - Who can forget those fingers that had missile firing systems in place of nails! Oh how I fell in love with that! Have a look at this website. If you want to download the opening song, click here

6. He-Man, Spiderman were good :) - You can download the spiderman opening song here

7. Derrick - A late favourite that I enjoyed in the early-mid nineties. Another German serial, it had an old detective and a younger assistant. Very tight direction. It was a very surprising serial, since nothing much seemed be happening at a given moment, but if one missed any consecutive 5 minutes (beginning, middle, end), then one lost all track and the story could not be understood at all. I think that is why my brother and I sat glued to the TV and watched it with our complete and undivided attention (10-11 PM daily)

8. British comedies - Yes Minister, Yes Prime Minister were great and proably the best comedies that I ever saw in my life (barring Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, Golmaal and Chupke Chupke). There was another serial that was about a departmental store and some whacky comedy, which sometime went over my head. British humour was and still is, subtler than American humour, which tends to be crass and loud. The only notable exception I have seen is Seinfeld, which has become my daily fix these days.

9. I Love Lucy - My initiation with American humour at the age of 6-8 was through this lovable piece. I did not know the great history behind those episodes and still enjoyed it thoroughly. What we were shown was probably fairly old, probably from the 1950s, since I recollect Lucille Ball as quite young. The favourite of us kids was a certain character called Mr. Moony, probably Lucy's brother. We used to call him "Mr. Mooli" (Mr. Radish) in our childish humour!

10. Vikram - Betal - No questions for guessing why we loved it. I had a fair amount of fascination with the question in the end and how the king would solve it since I did not have the brain to solve those great questions of morality and right conduct. But, I think my fascination was higher with the Betal - his fairly stupid makeup that made him more a source of laughter than fear! And I loved "Singhasan Battisi".

11. Of course, we had the staple favourites of Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi, Ramayana, Mahabharata, Hum Log, Nukkad, Buniyad.

12. Does anyone remember Phatichar, Guniram, Bhim-Bhawani (Ashok Kumar-Anoop Kumar respectively), Mamaji (played by Deven Varma. the serial had the duo of Induji-Binduji with the pet dialogue "Indu to main hoon, yeh to Bindu hai!).

13. I enjoyed Rajni ("Ladki hai ek, naam Rajni hai, Rajni, Rajni, Rajni). I enjoyed "Idhar Udhar" with Rathna Pathak and Lilliput (forgot who else was there).

14. I vaguely remember watching Khandaan (Dr. Shreeram Lagoo and Neena Gupta as Ketki). I watched, but could not understand Trishna (Remember names like Sangeeta Handa and Kittu Gidwani).

15. Who remembers Mashoor Mahal with someone called, i think, Raman? And Baaton-Baaton Main with Vipin Handa?

16. Saptahiki!! Chitrahaar - I think it still comes on Wednesday (old songs) and Friday (new songs)!

17. Aap aur Hum? Krishi Darshan with Dr. Jawahar Jain and his "Pusa 407" and "Pachheti Buayee"? Andhi Galiyan (Program about deaddition from drugs)?

18. Ek Kahani was great. So was another program that was made by Cinevista and showed short stories. I think it was called "Katha Sagar".

19. DD made great plays. I loved watching one play about an old man who loves to eat freshly-dug, small potatoes that have been roasted on a fire and lets his wife die so that he can eat those potatoes in peace. Who can forget Ghasiram Kotwal, Agra Bazaar (Habib Tanweer, the director, as the Kakri-seller).

20. There was a serial called "Phir Wohi Talaash" in the early-mid nineties about a boy (played by Dr. Ashwini Kumar, a Delhi based doctor), who comes to the city to study and falls in love with a rich and beautiful girl. The boy's father was played by the guy who plays Jassi's father in Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin and my favourite scenes include one where he instructs someone to look after the shop with a stern warning "Kuch Khaiyo Mat" and the other one where he shouts at his son, who wants to study but the father wants him to sit at the shop; so he says "Ek toh Chori Chhupe Padhai Kar Lee, Aur Ab Himmat Dekho, Jaake Imtihaan Bhee De Aaya"! The girl has a friend who was played by Neelima Azeem and her romantic interest, an inspector was played by the guy who can be seen as Parvat Singh in Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin. There was another scene about "Hum Yahaan Se Sab Ko Kaadh Rahe Hain" to be mistaken as "Gaad Rahen Hain" - very hilarious.
The serial was very nice.

21. I loved Mr. Yogi and Space City Sigma along with Star Trek. We made the communicator used by Mr. Spock and his team, using a rubberband and two cardboard matchboxes. That was a cool serial :) - I saw the recent episodes of Star Trek and they do not even match up 1/10th of the original series.

22. Then there was Ek-Do-Teen-Char - amateur detectives who sang "1,2,3,4 - Charo Milkar Saath Chale Toh Kar Deh Chamatkar"

23. FAUJI !!!!! Who can forget Shahrukh Khan as Abhimanyu Rai. "Buddies" and "I say chaps" which became part of the lingo.

24. I enjoyed "Satyajit Ray Presents" with the thrilling episodes, the eerie background music, the aura of mystery around everything, the feeling that something unexpected is about to happen and the feeling that please God, don't let the electricity fail at this moment!
Vyomkesh Bakshi was good too but didn't have enough time for it when it was aired. I watched Srikant and understood it somewhat ! I just remember Farookh Sheikh was called "Tyun Tyun" by a woman and he used to hate it. I remember one of my friends was called "Tyun Tyun" by all of us, since he resembled Farookh Sheikh.

25. Ek aur Anek - Download the original here. Looking for "Swimmy" audio/video, Kanjoos Bania Ballu Malle Shah video/audio. I loved Mile Sur Mera Tumhara ( I have the original mp3 and a new video made by some MIT guys but am looking for the original video). There was "Ek Anna Ka Dana" about saving foodgrain.

26. Deepak Ka Jinn - Modern Genie who wore a suit and entered the room from the door instead of making a grand appearance from a lamp. Carried a briefcase, and whatever one wanted was obtained from opening it!

27. Mungeri Lal Ke Hasin Sapne - I could and still can do an accurate copy of his dream-beginnig sequence!

28. Another with Priya Tendulkar and Karan Razdan which was a comedy. They both were marriage counsellors, as far as I can remember and that was the source of laughter.

29. MALGUDI DAYS - Swameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Amazing work by Shankar Nag - I have read all the Malgudi Days Books and the serial is an amazing example of a TV/Movie Adaption that is true to the original, a rare event. Manjunath as Swami was utterly believable. I wonder what is he doing these days. Don't see him on TV/Silver Screen anywhere. Girish Karnad was amazing as the father and every character played their role to the hilt.

Malgudi days is enjoying a rerun these days on DD India - Sunday Nights 10:30 PM. I am enjoying it all over again. I wonder if Shankar Naag can be persuaded to remake Guide (as a movie or a serial) since it was clearly documented by RK Narayan himself that he hated the song-and-dance filled Guide. I tend to agree and disagree with this posture of Narayan. While he has every right to demand sticking to the original, Guide as a movie is not bad compared to the run-of-the-mill bollywood potboiler. I mean come on, the hero and heroine are not married and enjoy a long relationship openly. That in itself was revolutionary for the 1960s. I think that Guide should be preserved as a good movie inspired by the novel. But if we are looking for a true adaption, then we need not look beyond Shankar Naag.

30. Streethawk - How we wanted to ride that fast :)

31. Dekh Bhai Dekh was cool too!

32. Then there was "Aisa Bhi Hota Hai" (like Ripley's Believe it or not) with someone called Monica. She was so beautiful that it was rumoured that she got 19,000 marriage proposals every week. I particularly remember one episode where a man demonstrated boring a hole in soft metals like Alumnium coins by just staring at them with a powerful gaze!

33. Ulta Pulta and every singly episode of Flop Show - kitne yaad karoon!

34. Karam chand - kitty and gazar :)

35. Then there was this nice cartoon called Jamie and the Magic Torch. I think this is one of the earliest television that I can remember. Look at this website on the program and click here for the song. Of course you can always find more references on the net, as this was a popular serial abroad too.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I had a very interesting experience recently....

On my way home, I stopped to buy "chaat" from a local "chaat" vendor. For the uninitiated, "chaat" is an Indian delicacy, freshly prepared and verrry spiccy (oooh - i can feel the tingling on my tounge right now)

He was packing up my order, and I got into small talk with the guy. Anyhow, when I had paid and was leaving, he stopped me and asked me to wait for a moment. I wondered what could have happened to warrant an unusal request. He prepared a very small piece of chat (one mouthful) and offered it to me. I asked the reason for such a strange thing; and he replied "Don't you have to go home? How will you restrain yourself from eating the chaat, till you reach home!"

I was taken aback, since my mouth was virtullly watering at that moment! A ten minute ride home was too long a time interval!!

Such an interesting insight he had, into the workings of the human cravings!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I learnt two new words recently.....

"Samjhawan Lal" and "Dukh Haran Baba" - i.e. "one that makes you understand" and the other is "trouble removal saint"

Both stand for sticks that are used to beat up children in schools......!!!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

reading "angels and demons" by dan brown - after reading "the da vinci code" - amazing novels....and the only ones where one needs a dictionary when u read them :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Way Over My Head
I manage a large discount bookstore and was amused by a phone
conversation one of my salesclerks had with a new computer user.
The caller asked if we carried "Linux for Dummies."
"No," the clerk replied, "but we do sell "The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Linux."
The man groaned and said, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Linux is
way over my head!"

What does an actor know about politics?
-- President Ronald Reagan (complaining about Screen Actors’
Guild president Ed Asner speaking out on U.S. foreign policy)

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my
shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues
of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly
man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.
"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?"
I asked.
"Still employed," he answered.


In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down
answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you
like to be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next
to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?"

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Profound thoughts

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible..... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

This killed me :)

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough,
and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order
to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question:
"What is the relationship between kinetic and potential
energy?"
One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and
wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there
could be something else going on there."

Monday, April 04, 2005


Does your computer look like this? This is from 1954!

Mathematics for you !

Hmm - A good point - comes very close to my own life's philosophy :D

Have we been missing the real scientific advances made possible by the internet - Antimatter for Sale on Ebay ;-)

Friday, April 01, 2005

Tiger snaps back at hidden camera
A wildlife survey camera hidden in the Sumatran rainforest survives a tiger's rage unscathed, even taking a close-up inside the animal's mouth.

This is cool - New Scientist is one of my favourite websites!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Hmm......really long time between this and the last posting - For one, I can leave my blooging software open all the time - 64 MB RAM was not sufficient but the new 128 upgrade to 192 total is good for me now :)

got a new CD writer - all my c&h and tintin and asterix are now safely archived :D

got me a new email address - mail2ankur AT gmail DOT com - the vsnl one is now defunct !!

my latest avatar on the net - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/timencrgdpibuster - T.I.M.E. NCR's online foray to help our students!

Sunday, July 04, 2004

looking for the songs - tumhare bin jee na lage ghar mein - bhoomika - sung b preeti sagar and by the same singer need - shamshir bare na maang gazab and another one is mero gaam kaatha paare from manthan.

please write to ankurjain at vsnl dot com
ok, this is it - i am gonna shoot someone if i don't get a gmail account in some 48 hours or so :-D

Monday, June 28, 2004

working at TIME has its advantages - i get to teach what i like and the pace is decided by me...not by some one else!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

downloading "mera pyar shalimar" from www.coolgoose.com - nice song....reminded of it by listening to a pathetic remix on Radio Mirchi just now.

happens with me so many times - i keep listening to FM and then i suddenly come across one nice song, that i HAVE to download...then search frantically and get it somewhere :-)
trying left right and center to get a gmail invite.....if anyone got it please send me an invite at ankurjain AT vsnl.com - replace the AT with @
Well trying my hand out at re-starting the dead process of writing my blog - hope i get thru this time to some more posts than just random entries!!

Saturday, May 29, 2004

blog ko revive karna ek kathin karya hai - par kuch toh kara hee ja sakta hai!

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

More from This is True.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE LOSER? Oregon state minimum-security prison inmate
Jason Hayes, 29, was doing his assigned job when he noticed the guards
were looking the other way. "He just walked," a prison spokeswoman
says, making an escape. After walking for half an hour he passed by the
state Department of Corrections headquarters building in Salem. As it
happened, a DoC employee was getting into her car and noticed his
prison uniform. Her job: chasing down escaped fugitives. She confronted
Hayes and he ran, jumping over a barbed-wire-topped fence -- landing in
the middle of a training exercise for the police SWAT team. He was
quickly arrested. (Portland Oregonian) ..."Genius may have its
limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." --Elbert Hubbard
(1856-1915), American author.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Once I wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no
holidays.
-- Henny Youngman
Bullfighting is the number-one sport in Latin America.
"'That's revolting!"
"No, that's the number-two sport."

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Here's something interesting I found floating on the net, about the recent and much hyped visit of GWB to Iraq.

Purported Bush Tape Raises Fear of New Attacks
by Robert Jensen and Sam Husseini
Disassociated Press; November 28, 2003

A tape today surfaced in U.S. media outlets of someone purporting to be George W. Bush at a U.S. military base in Baghdad.

Intelligence analysts around the world are studying the videotapes. "It certainly looked and sounded like him, but we get so few glimpses at Bush in real-life situations that it is hard to tell," said one operative from a Western intelligence agency.

People who know Bush said it appeared to him. "That's him, all right," said one longtime associate.

The tape shows the man claiming to be Bush praising U.S. attacks in Iraq. "We will stay until the job is done," he threatened.

The videotape was delivered to the Baghdad bureau of FOX News by an intermediary courier who has brought material before from the U.S. military, according to the U.S. network.

There were calls for FOX to be banned from some Arabic countries for broadcasting American militaristic propaganda.

While the quality of the tape was not poor, the alleged Bush did appear tired in portions of it, prompting speculation that he is on the run.

The man claiming to be Bush said: "We did not charge hundreds of miles into the heart of Iraq, pay a bitter cost in casualties, defeat a brutal dictator and liberate 25 million people only to retreat before a band of thugs and assassins."

Analysts pointed out that given the ongoing nature of the Iraqi resistance since "the end of major combat operations," that comment could have been recorded anytime in the past six months.

"When the man identified as Bush tells U.S. troops, 'You are defeating the terrorists here in Iraq so we don't have to face them in our own country,' well, it's a little hard to believe that even the Bush White House would try to spin that," said the operative from a Western intelligence agency.

"How could anyone believe, after all that has been disclosed about the lies and distortions used to manipulate the public into accepting this war, that U.S. troops are defending the American people in Iraq? No major world leader would be so obtuse or so low as to try to sell that to people at this stage."

Members of the Iraqi Governing Council who met with the man identified as Bush said they had met with a man identified as Bush and were delaying comment until Paul Bremer was available to tell them what their comments would be.

Omar Ali, an Iraqi in a poor area of Baghdad said: "I don't understand why he didn't stay. Just because the U.S. nearly starved us with the sanctions for 12 years, killed my cousin during the invasion, busted down my door last week and is trying to find a way to steal our oil - does he think that Iraqis would want to hurt him, our great liberator?"

Private Charles Sanders, who has been stationed in Iraq since the invasion said: "I was supposed to be back home by now. It was really getting depressing, but this is great. Sure, I don't get to look into the eyes of my little girl, or hold my wife tenderly in my arms, but the president served me turkey!"

Susan Jones in Pittsburgh, who this morning was driven to tears while watching "Dances with Wolves" on cable TV, said: "I was planning on talking over the Thanksgiving Day table with my family about how we slaughtered the Indians and enslaved the blacks, bullied Latin America and bombed Vietnam, and now were occupying Iraq. I don't know, is it just me, or do we just have this brutal aggressive side to us? But now I guess, well, just talk about Bush's visit instead."

When asked whether she was certain the president had gone to Iraq, Laura Bush said she hadn't noticed her husband had left the Crawford ranch. "I assumed he was out clearing brush," the First Lady said.

Correspondents Robert Jensen and Sam Husseini contributed to this report.
www.zmag.org

Friday, November 28, 2003

This is a nice quiz - Identify who's a software language developer and who's a serial killer!! As if there is much difference :-D

Killer Quiz

Thursday, November 27, 2003

History interests me. Not wars and how many kings and queens ruled, but how people lived in olden times. You can say I am interested in Social Geography and Anthropology. There is an irrestible urge in my life to find what people in earlier times ate, wore, how they lived, grew grain and in general how on they carried on their business of living.

I keep reading lots of articles on archealogical studies in New Scientist, a magazine that is almost God-sent for a information-maniac like me. Today I chanced upon a nice site, Roman Britain, that is about how the Romans lived in Britain 2000 years ago. Quite interesting!
Check this out - Very funny!
Are you an E-Bore?

My score in June 2003 was 60 and in November 2003 has climbed upto 64. At this rate, I should be a complete E-bore (a score of 100 points) in August 2007 :-D

Samit - a dear friend - says and I quote:
If you were able to calculate the time to reach 100% then you are already beyond the 100% limit.
Ha Ha :-D

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Back to the internet and back to blogging, would start again soon!!

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Friday, October 03, 2003

Here's one that cracked me up :-D

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
--Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman
Here's a neat one on Answering Machine Madness, the disease that plagues all Americans ;-)

Hi, this is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Was reading my new dictionary, reached the very last page to see what is the last word in the dictionary and say a word "Zyrian". As is my habit, googled for it immediatly.

Reached this page which is quite something! Some people have all the time in the world to do all sorts of interesting things ;-)
A not so new one, but worth a laugh all the time !

A professor of Linguistics was lecturing to an audience about similarities and dissimilarities found among languages. He pointed out that in Russian, the use of a double negative does not alter the intent of the statement but, in English the use of a double negative renders a statement positive. He then pointed out that never does the use of a double positive in English make a statement negative.

A voice from the back of the room shouted, "yeah, right!!!"

Monday, September 29, 2003

I have fallen in love with Google's News Alerts - check them out here

The best thing about them is the text around the keyword. That helps to understand the context and judge without clicking whether the article is relevant to my keyword or not. Less time spent on evaluation of email.
Have been teaching Verbal Ability and Personality Development to CAT aspirants for nearly two months now. Recently, I bought an Oxford English Dictionary for my English classes. The dictionary was a necessity since it contained Etymology. My work revolves around understanding words and their meanings, and knowing the origins helps a great deal!
Had a niece born on 25th September!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

There's mass indignation amongst Indian internet users. The Indian govt has asked through orders like these, all private ISPs to block access to a discussion group on yahoogroups. This group focusses on some anti-India activities, especially secessionist views. You may try to access this group here. You will be able to see it if you are outside India. If in India, you would get a gateway error or something similar. If you live in India and want to access this group, try Anonymizer which allows you to surf blocked websites. Or try typing the URL (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kynhun) in Google and click on the cached links to see it.

However, that is not the point. If the govt deems some website to be dangerous to the integrity and sovereignty of the Indian Union, and deems to block it, freedom of speech and information be damned, *AT LEAST DO IT PROPERLY*. Most ISPs, including the one that I use, have blocked the complete http://groups.yahoo.com site. Yahoo groups is a major website used by Indian users. I am personally a member of nearly 30 groups on the same, discussing issues as varied as Indian Business and Strategy, Pancham's music, Jainism and Search Engine Optimization. While thankfully we are not suffering from non-delivery of mails, the site's web access is blocked leading to administrative problems. Talk about cutting the hand to stop the accusing finger!


Here's an interesting letter that is being forwarded to the Indian users. Please help the cause and send the same to the Minister!

Folks!

Due to bungling between GOI and ISPs, for many of us, it is not possible to access the yahoo groups site at all !!!

GOI had asked the ISPs to block access to a particular yahoogroup site, however, many ISPs have blocked access to entire yahoogroups site.
(It may not effect many yahoogroups members, but it does hinder moderators to do their job - and therefore, the effectiveness of the groups)

I am enlosing a copy of a copy of the government GO, which is also available at:

http://corporate.ddsl.net/images/sc1.gif
It is from the Ministry of Communications and IT - LR Cell, signed by Jayant Kumar, Director, LR II (tel # 011 23372601)

It tells ISPs to block http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/kynhun/ - and definitely not to block the whole of yahoogroups.

The only recourse is to send petition to the Hon'ble Minister of Communiation and IT, Mr Arun Shourie, to intervene.

I am pasting a message below, and request you to cut-copy-paste it, and send to his mailids (which are give below)

Please forward this message to as many yahoogroups as you can (and not listed in "To:" above)

thanks for your initiative and cooperation

ciao
madhukar
=================================
Dr Madhukar Shukla
Prof (OB & Strategic Management), XLRI, CH Area (East),
Jamshedpur India 831 001
email: madhukar@xlri.ac.in
webpage: http://www.madhukarshukla.com/
ph: 91 657 2225506 x 300(O)/ 603(R)
fax: 91 657 2227814

============================================================================
E-mail: ashourie@yojana.nic.in, minister@mit.gov.in
Mail Off: Electronic Niketan, Lodhi Road, New Delhi
Fax Off: 24364484
Mail Res : A-31, Westend Enclave, New Delhi-110021
Fax Res: 24100012

______________________________________________________


Sh. Arun Shourie,
Hon'ble Minister for Communication and Information Technology
Government of India

Dear Sh. Shourie,

Sub: Protection of Right to freedom of speech & expression

Please refer to order No. 820-1/2003-LR(Vol.I) dated 10/09/2003 of Department of Telecommunication under your Ministry regarding
directions to block Internet website "groups.yahoo.com/groups/kynhu" .

We believe that the Ministry of Communication must be having necessary reasons to block the above website. Any such censoring in National Interest / National Security is welcome. However it is pointed out that certain ISP's have implemented the said order by blocking the entire domain groups.yahoo.com.

Consequently a number of citizens in the country are not able to access various yahoo groups across the country. It is brought to your notice that the citizens use the free services of yahoo to exchange ideas and remain connected with one another. However consequent to the above order the exchange of free flow of information has come to a halt.

Having known you as a former Editor and champion of Freedom of Speech , it was surprising to know that such an order can come through a Ministry headed by you.

The Intellectuals across the country feel that censoring of Internet may lead the citizens of the country far behind in the fast changing world. Time memorial have proved that no censorship has ever worked in the country. Despite all odds in the country it is this freedom to speech that makes Indian citizens feel proud of their nation. It is this freedom that makes India different from China.

We therefore request you to personally intervene and either ensure the proper implementation of the order whereby only "groups.yahoo.com/groups/kynhu" is blocked by ISP's or alternately withdraw the above order and ensure Right to freedom of speech & expression of all Citizens.

It is further requested that the rules under which the above order was passed may be re-looked and if possible a representative from amongst the Journalist world may be brought in the committee which examines such blockage of website. It should not happen that Bureaucrats/ Politicians use above tool to infringe the fundamental right to freedom of speech of citizens.

With a special appeal to the Journalist in you.

Best Regards,

A Concerned Citizen
Here are some miscellaneous ones.

















Here's a good one from Dilbert ;-)






And here's a series of two on the IITs - India's premier technology institutes.









Here are some new cartoons!

Here's a lovely series on spam from Rudy Park.














Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Cleaning my drawer, I chanced upon a yellowing piece of paper. A long long time ago, I started to make this list. 50 things I would like to do in my lifetime. Here is what I have written till now, and the status in the brackets!

1. Teach (Doing it, and enjoying it throughly!!)

2. Gardening (Yeah, doing this too and enjoying it :-) )

3. Read Psychology (Umm, not got around to doing this till now)

4. Read Philosophy (Started to do this, but fell asleep! May be I need to start with something simpler than "Dialectical Dissertations on the Existentialistic Musings of Plato and their influence on post-modern Greek Drama")

5. Read Anthropology (Ok, somewhat there, I read a lot of stuff on this on the net and watch on discovery channel, so I have taken the easy way out)

6. Ornithology (Umm, I am sure this meant the winged variety, but my current pursuits are more about the human variety, if you know what I mean ;-) )

7. Trek in the jungles (Unfulfilled)

8. Watch nature closely (Not fulfilled in the way I want it to be, but somehow I manage to do this even in this concrete jungle)

9. Make my own library (Ok, reaching there. Already have a lot of books!)

10. Write short stories (Nope, the world is still spared that torture)

Will add 11-50 (and more!) as and when time passes!!

Monday, September 01, 2003

Just read that to help Delhi's bid for the Commonwealth Games 2010, the Delhi Metro Rail is being projected as a superb feature. Most stadia are either bang on the metro routes, or a kilometer or two away so the metro would help people commute to game sites.

And the surprising gainer in all this could be my home city, the Delhi suburb called Noida. Initially the Noida phase of the metro was going to be completed in 2012, but if the common wealth games come to Delhi then the date would be preponed by three years to 2009! Yeah!!

Now I have another reason to hope for Delhi's successful bid for the games ;-)

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Gosh! Life can be so boring sometimes - really in the dumps right now :-(

Meanwhile head to Quiznet on Yahoogroups to experience Indian quizzing at its best. I am a regular member and contribute quizzes as well as answer a lot of quizzes. Enjoy!

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Is it just me or has anyone noticed less spam on Hotmail addresses?
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
A Realistic Look At Job Descriptions


An ADULT is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS are the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

A COMMITTEE is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST is mud with the juice squeezed out.

An EGOTIST is someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

A GOSSIP is a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

A HANDKERCHIEF is cold storage.

INFLATION is cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

A MYTH is a female moth.

A MOSQUITO is an insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISINS are grape with a sunburn.

A SECRET is something you tell to one person at a time.

A SKELETON is a bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

A TOOTHACHE is the pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW is one of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

A YAWN is an honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES are something other people have. You have character lines.

A BANKER is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

An ECONOMIST is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted
yesterday didn't happen today.

A STATISTICIAN is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an accountant.

An ACTUARY is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because
that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

A PROGRAMMER is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way
you don't understand.

A MATHEMATICIAN is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.

A TOPOLOGIST is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A LAWYER is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A SCHOOLTEACHER is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

A CONSULTANT is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

A DIPLOMAT is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will
look forward to the trip.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Friday, August 22, 2003

Here's is a sampler of some nursery rhymes with an Indian twist. Enjoy!
________________________________

Laloo Bhai bihari
Went up the pahari
To fetch a bail for court order
Laloo fell down
And lost his crown
But Rabri reigned thereafter.
________________________________
Laxman laxman
Yes pappa
eating money
no pappa
telling lies
no pappa
open yr drawer
ha ha ha
________________________________
samata party is falling down
falling down
falling down
samata party is falling down
falling down
falling down
my fair jaitley (jaya)
________________________________
Wha Wha Black Sheep
Have you pulled the wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for my father,
One for my dame,
And one for the CBI
Crying in the lane.
__________________________________
Little Miss Bharti,
Did a Maha-arti,
So the BJP would always hold sway.
There came a big BSP With Mayavati its USP.
And frightened Miss Bharti away.
________________________________
Little Lal Advani
Sat with his TV vahini
Taking his party's rai
He stuck out hist humb,
hoping to pull out the plum,
And said, 'Can I have a slice of Vaj-pie?'
____________________________________
Batsman-bowler sat on the ball.
Batsman-bowler had a great fall,
All the bookies' cookies,
All the bribers' men,
Couldn't put Indian cricket together again.
____________________________________
Bankers and ministers
Sold for a penny
All the swindlers are so many
The envy's green
And the CBI red's
Nail them all, and get
their head, head, head.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Okay, this is quite good. It is not very hard to make but the fact is that someone took the trouble to make it, and made it so well. I got this from the New York Times, where it was featured in a what's new section. It is supposed to be a walking man, who is walking across the world on email. In the email you receive it, you are urged to pass it on. One email I sure will have no misgivings in forwarding.

If you want this, right click on the image, then click on "Save Picture As..." and save wherever you want.

The Walking Man - He is walking across the world on email - pls pass on!
Some cartoons to waste your time!

1. Here's one real gem from recent times :-)

Dilbert's Project Uncertainty Principle



2. I have recently discovered Frank and Ernest and it is fast turning into one of my favourite strips, in addition to Calvin and Hobbes, Off the Mark, Non-Sequitur etc.

Doctor Waiting Room



3. Non Sequitur is the king of off-beat comics. The humour is dry, witty, sarcastic, cynical and yet very refreshing ;-)

New Economy



4. Okay, this is kinda OK, but I still enjoyed this. Refers to the recent no-call-list for telemarketing activities in the USA. A good initiative, and the growing pestilence of this breed in India, makes me wonder how soon are we to such an initiative in our country.

No Call



5. This killed me, I still can't stop laughing on this one :-)

You do realise!

Saturday, August 16, 2003

A definitive site on the Indian army and its operations is Bharat Rakshak. Have a dekko!
Listening to Ali Haider's "Purani Jeans Aur Guitar". It is one of my favourite songs! Although never had most of the escapades and experiences mentioned in the song (I was a good boy!!), I can somehow connect to it.

Listening to this and songs of other Pakistani artists makes me wonder why can't we live in peace. I love the voices of Ghulam Ali, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Junoon, Abida Parveen and Ali Haider. Noorjehan went from India to Pakistan after partition and we lost the best voice in the world, probably even better than our own venerable Lata Mangeshkar.

Peace! That's what we need.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Well I have never been a big fan of Jagjit Singh and his ghazals, but over the years, friends have introduced me to them and I am a fan now.

The best one I like are from Saath Saath and Arth and of course Hoshwalon Ko Khabar Kahan with the lovely video of Sonali in Sarfarosh!

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Dial the world for free (8/2/03)

The Web and E-mail are second nature to PC owners. Jeff Pulver hopes the same will soon apply for Internet phone calls. A 40-year-old pioneer in the field, Pulver is a passionate, fast-talking crusader trying to sell a skeptical public on the future of Net telephony. His latest venture is a no-charge service called Free World Dialup (www.freeworlddialup.com).

Saturday, August 09, 2003

Here is something interesting!

Rumours are that Aamir Khan might be featured on the cover of TIME Magazine. Photographer Atul Kasbekar has been assigned the job of clicking Aamir for the lead story on crossover films.
Bush and the American's are big time liers, and it is time that these guys were set right for killing Iraqis for no reason. Does the Iraqi experience mean that if I feel that America is an enemy of my country, I can just go and blast them off for no forseeable reason, whatsoever?? I would love to do that!
THE MESSAGE COUNTS: Bob Graham, running for the Democratic nomination to oppose President George W. Bush in the next presidential election, said Bush wasn't truthful about Iraq having purchased uranium from Africa, as claimed in the buildup toward war. Would he say, then, that Bush told a lie about Iraq's push for "weapons of mass destruction"? "I would not use the three-letter word," Sen. Graham replied. "I would use the five-letter word: deceit." (AP) ...Americans need to learn a four-letter word: vote.

From This Is True
And of course, politicians are the same everywhere, the first ones to bake their breads over the funeral pyres of others.
Inspiring, isn't it? I am impressed with this guy's dedication.
THE SHOW MUST GO ON: Comedian Mark Olver got plenty of laughs when he fell down during his stand-up routine at a comedy club in Bristol, England. Almost immediately after coming out on stage, he collapsed in a heap. As he lay on the floor, microphone in hand, he kept telling jokes -- even though he had a dislocated knee and broken ankle."I was in a lot of pain, but managed to do about 15 minutes of material while on the floor, passing out every now and then because of the pain, and then coming round to do the punch line." The audience thought it was part of his act until paramedics arrived and carried him off the stage on a stretcher. Olver didn't take any time off at all: he was back on stage the next night, doing his act in a cast. (Bristol Evening Post)

From This Is True

Friday, August 08, 2003

Some nice ones I came across :-)

An English professor announced to the class; "There are
two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and
the other is cool."
From the back of the room a voice called out, "Yeah? So,
what are the words?"

***********************************************

A man complained, "Doc, I've been to three other clinics
and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy,
then they'll see that I was right."

************************************************

Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put
in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal.
--Steven Wright

Thursday, August 07, 2003

So, you are a Superman fan, eh? Well here's something for you - The First Superman comic, published waaaay back in 1938.
Today I am going for a "Chouka" for two Jain Aryikajees (female ascetics) in our local temple. During the monsoon months, Jain ascetics stay at one place, as compared to the rest of the year when they are constantly on the move from one place to another. So this is more a time for contemplation, meditation, preaching and teaching than any other during the year. The ascetics take very simple food, once a day. This food is prepared by devotees in a very very clean and pure environment. Everything has be very clean and completely pure and this makes it very tough to do this kind of thing. A lot of effort goes into a single meal.

Our family has had a tradition of some "Choukas" in the past, but the recent years have seen no Choukas in past years. Life in a big city can be drastically different from one in a small city and one has much less time.

Noida, where I live is a comparatively new place and this is the first time that some ascetics have stayed for the monsoon months. So there is a great fervour in the Jain community here. Most of the arrangements for the meals have been made at the local temple itself, instead of homes, as is normally done.

I better get going!
I can't believe there is no major Indian cricket match for another 2 months or so. I mean we Indians are so used to our regular shot of cricket, that such a long hiatus after the World Cup has left us completely dry. I just wish October was here sooner and we all get to see New Zealand get a bit of their own treatment, on Indian pitches. I am all for sporting pitches, not just spinning tracks, so that we can show which is the better team. We on sporting tracks, or they on specially-prepared-bad-tracks-not-worth-international-standards? I think we all know the answer.

Indians are having a bad run in the counties, except may be Dravid. Marriage suits him :-)

Recently I read an article in the TOI that speculated whether going to county matches was still the relevant "coming-of-age" ritual for Indian cricketers. Country cricket has lost its charm in the recent years, and Indians are playing a lot more international cricket, than say 20 years or even 10 years ago. But one thing cannot be denied. Where else can you drive around in a 50 mile radius and get to meet so many new quality teams, with good facilities and excellent atmosphere. You get to experience new kind of pitches and varied bowling attacks. So I guess there is some merit in the county-cricket experience.

But that's just me :-)

Monday, August 04, 2003

This is the first step towards the planned recapture of the India market by USA. We should be wary of such moves, and proceed with caution.

In today's world, we cannot avoid partnering with the USA, but one needs to be cautious of their moves, and have enough checks and balances to make sure that we are not caught on the wrong foot by any short-sighted decisions.

In addition we should reduce our dependency on oil. gas, coal, hydel and renewable sources like solar, tidal should be explored in greater depth.

India is a big market for oil, US tells its firms
http://www.rediff.com/money/2003/aug/04oil.htm
S Ravindran & Hemangi Balse in Mumbai | August 04, 2003 07:57 IST

The United States has drafted India into the axis of virtue. The Bush administration believes India is a major energy market.

It wants India to build "strategic oil reserves", which can be drawn upon in case of another oil shock to the world economy.

Specifically, throwing the Enron-Dabhol controversy to the winds, the US government is lending its weight to American firms seeking to invest in India's energy sector.

A task force on the US Energy Policy, constituted by US President George Bush, sees "India as one of the major energy markets."

As part of a policy realignment, the US Department of Energy has offered to support "any industry expertise required by India to create its own strategic reserves."

The US wants India to replicate its model, wherein petroleum is stored in "natural, underground salt caverns."

The US has built capacities to store up to 700 million barrels at four sites. These give it a drawdown capacity of 4.4 million barrels a day, which "at full level (of drawdown) is equivalent to the production of the fourth largest supplier in the world."

Petroleum Minister Ram Naik has apprised Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee of the recent changes in the US energy policy.

As many as 66 US oil and gas majors have shown interest in the recent roadshows, in which the Indian government invited multinationals to explore 24 blocks under the New Exploration Licensing Policy-IV.

The campaign contained a promotional roadshow for the second round of bids for coal-bed methane blocks, in which 32 US firms, including CDX Gas and Burlington Resources, participated.

The Centre has offered nine such blocks, housing about 400 billion cubic metres of exploitable gas.

With support from the US government, India is likely to see a number of American energy firms descending on its shores in search of hydrocarbons and to set up energy units.

Despite the Enron debacle, the US firms are encouraged by the recent gas discoveries made by Reliance Industries in the Krishna-Godavari deep-water block and by Oil and Natural Gas Corporation in Vasai (off Mumbai), the deregulation of the oil industry and the proposed government divestment in oil companies.
Watched "The Kumars at No. 42" and "Goodness Gracious Me" on Star World yesterday. They are really nice comedies, I can't stop laughing :-D Wish they would make these kind of comedies more in India.

In recent years, there has been a rush of cinema and TV from Indians who are based abroad. And most of it is quite good. Well, this finally proves one thing - Indians can laugh at themselves too!
A really nice website for downloading old Hindi movie songs is Indian Screen.
One for downloading new ones is esargam.
Another site that offers a lot of songs for downloads is Surendra.
A site with lot of downloads is Entertain 123
However, the current daddy still remains Cool Goose

Happy Downloading ;-)

Sunday, August 03, 2003

:-D

"I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time...
I think I have forgotten this before..."

:-D
Listening to "Pyar mein dil pe maar de goli, le le meri jaan" :-) - nice song.....RDB is really the tops.
And here is another really great one doing the rounds on the net.

   While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man,
   the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was
   doing as President.
   
   The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing
   what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post
   turtle" was.
   
   He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across
   a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't
   get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get
   anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the
   poor thing down. That's a post turtle."
One of my all time favourite authors of comedy is W. Bruce Cameron. He writes an absolutely hilarious column, mostly dealing with his teenage daughters. Catch him at his website
A nice joke I came across recently!

In an interview with David Letterman, U.S. President Jimmy Carter passed
along an anecdote of a translation problem in Japan. Carter was speaking at
a business lunch in Tokyo, where he decided to open his speech with a brief
joke.

He told the joke, then waited for the translator to announce the Japanese
version. Even though the story was quite short, Carter was surprised by how
quickly the interpreter was able to re-tell it. Even more impressive was the
reaction from the crowd. Carter thought the story was cute, but not outright
hilarious, yet the crowd broke right up. Carter was very flattered.

After the speech, Carter wanted to meet the translator to ask him how he
told the joke. Perhaps there is better way to tell the joke?

When Carter asked how the joke had been told in Japanese, the translator
responded, "I told them, 'President Carter has told a very funny joke.
Please laugh now.'"
Okey dokey - checking out this new software Bloggar for posting to my blogs. May be this will inspire me to post more frequently.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

here is the indian version of the evergreen classic, why did the chicken cross the road? i have personally written every entry, last night and today morning and this is NOT copied from some forward floating on the net! i think it is a good effort :-)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

ATAL BIHARI VAJAPAYEE Chicken ke dwara (long pause) bina ijazat (another long pause) road cross karna (yet another very long pause) achi baat nahin hai.

LALOO PRASAD YADAV Arre, ee sab to bakwas hai. Yeh sampradayik taktein chahti hain to des ko chicken aur non-chicken mein baant diya jaye. Hum ekjut hogar aise chicken ke khilaf ladenge aur kisi ko road cross nahin karne denge. Waise bhi yeh chicken bahut kam chara khate hain aur kamai ka koi mauka nahin hota hai.

SONIA GANDHI Congress party, aise kisi bhi chicken ka samarthan karne ko teyar hai, jo hamare saath milkar, road cross karne to teyar hai. Mere pati aur meri saas ne road cross karne ke liye apni jaan de di, aur hamari party aage bhi road cross karne ki koshish jaari rakhegi.

MAYAWATI Chicken, bahujan samaj ka ek pramukh anga hain. Manuwadi taktein, chicken ka shoshan kar rahi hain. Main sabhi chicken ko bharosa dilati hoon, ki hamari bahujan samaj party, unke saath road cross karna chahti hai. Woh Mulayam Singh kya janta hai chicken ke baare mein??

AAJ TAK Aur aaiye ab aage badhne se pehle nazar dalte hain ab tak ki kuch khas aur Aaj Tak to mili exclusive chicken road crossings ki tasweeron pe (loud music starts, drowning all commentary)

EKTA KAPOOR (Saas bahu Serial Maker) Kyunki chicken bhi kabhi egg tha.

PERVEZ MUSHARRAF I tell you that we are completely innocent. We are not helping any chickens cross the road into Kashmir. They are crossing on their own. You may not believe that, but that the truth. Why don't the Indians stop the chicken crossings on their own? We will continue to support morally and diplomatically the Indigenous Road Cross Movement of the chickens in Kashmir and raise the issue at the next UN meet.

MUKESH AMBANI Mere pitajee ka sapna tha ki desh ka ek ek chicken saari ki saari roads, apne aap cross kar lega. Main woh sapna saakar karna chahta hoon.

VIRENDER SEHWAG - Hello Maa, maine chicken mutthi main kar liya hai!

AZHAR - And, you know, that the chicken, is being victimised.

SALMAN KHAN - I tell you that it is the media that is trying to project a bad image of mine. The chicken is just a good friend of mine and we were trying to cross the road to meet him, when he started cross too and we collided. I tell you, I was not even driving.

AISHWARYA RAI - I am telling you, it is all over between us. Whether the chicken is trying to cross the road or not, is none of my business any longer.

ADNAN SAMI - Thodi see to chicken dila de, thodi is to road cross kara de, thodi si toh lift kara de.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

a new site for excellent music is coolgoose

i have myself uploaded some music there. have a look at my contributions and my stats here
have resolved to be more regular in posting to my blog now. time to get a new website, and prove to myself that i have the discipline to write a regular blog, a semi-tech one at that!